It’s about midnight now… I can’t sleep.  I’ve had trouble sleeping since my abortion.  I was only sixteen at the time… and the dad was a total jerk… I feel completely alone.  None of my friends are talking to me right now and neither is the person who promised to take care of me… This is so hard… all the time I think about the clinic and the place I was… and the feel of my baby boy and how I couldn’t keep him.  And that my other friend is so happy with their baby girl… and no one cares.  I feel completely and utterly alone… and I hate this feeling.  I’ve been getting ignored for two days now.  I don’t understand what I did to deserve anything like this, I didn’t do anything this horrible… I miss my baby.  I was seventeen weeks… and I only wanted to protect him… but maybe he’s watching me angered by what I did… maybe he hates me… those are the only things I can ever think about… He seems to watch over his dad just fine… but lets me suffer constantly… I don’t want my baby to hate me for trying to protect him… protect him from the irresponsible dad he could’ve had… or the separation from me that he would have suffered… It’s not fair… Jeff didn’t want to protect him and he’s completely fine, and I did… and now I’m upset all night and I can’t sleep…