Recently Nicki Minaj spoke publicly about having an abortion when she was in high school. She describes her abortion experience by saying, it has “haunted me all my life.” She says that when she found out she was pregnant, she felt that she “was going to die” and it was the hardest thing she has ever been through. Her comments are reminiscent of what so many women feel and go through when they find out they are pregnant. Many women speak of feelings of isolation, loneliness despair, confusion, and sadness.
Moreover, women feel that they are the only ones in the world who feel this way. The reality, however, is that no matter what your particular situation is, there is someone who has also been there and gotten through it.
In her disclosure about her abortion experience, Nicki says that she was in high school and the father of her child was much older than her. Surely, she felt feelings of shame, fear, and maybe abandonment. Feelings such as these are not uncommon and, in fact, it is these feelings that often contribute to making an abortion decision. It is understandable to want to try to avoid those very negative emotions and have an abortion as a means of escaping it. An abortion will, in fact, take away feelings of shame, fear, abandonment, etc.; however, it commonly just exchanges them for feelings of guilt, regret, sadness, loss, and what Nicki describes as feeling “haunted” by her abortion.
It is very common to believe that having an abortion will make you “un-pregnant,” and you will go back to being who you were before you were pregnant. The truth, however, is that being un-pregnant is not possible. Yes, you may no longer have your baby, but there are oftentimes many feelings of loss and sadness that some women are left to work though. It is false to believe that having an abortion will not be a life changing decision.
But there is hope, if you have already had an abortion, you don’t need to continue having feelings follow you from your abortion. You can find a post abortion support group in your area, and the best part is that it is totally free and confidential. To find a support group in your area, just go to optionline.org, type in your zip code, and find a pregnancy center that you feel comfortable going to. You can also seek help by seeing a professional counselor in your area.
If you are pregnant right now and are thinking about having an abortion, there is a lot to consider. If you are thinking about abortion so that you will not be alone or because you are afraid to tell people you’re pregnant, abortion may take those feelings away; however, you may be left with even more feelings to struggle through. Many women make a decision for abortion without thinking through the possible long-term effects. Start by making an appointment at a pregnancy center to talk about all of your options. Just go to optionline.org, type in your zip code, and find center that you feel comfortable going to.
It is very brave for Nicki Minaj to talk about her abortion. Being pregnant or having an abortion is not something that has to be a skeleton in the closet. Other people may try to shame you or blame you, but you can be brave too and find safe people to talk about what you are going through.