Dear Becky — I ran across your site while searching for possible sources for a research paper. After 2 previous papers on abortion, I had never seen this site. I think it was shown to me for a reason.
I was 19, a sophomore in college, when I found out I was pregnant. David and I hadn’t been together very long, but we had already decided that we were getting married. The night Kiley was conceived, I knew. It all seemed like a dream…until I went to the health department. I had taken three home tests, but wanted to be absolutely sure. Of course, that test was positive as well. I was never really sick or anything like that, but I stayed on an emotional roller-coaster for…well, it hasn’t really ended yet! I was so scared to tell my family.
I was the first person in my family to go to college and ever strive to graduate and make something of myself. I knew everyone would be disappointed. I didn’t dread telling my mom nearly as much as I dreaded telling my grandparents. They raised me since I was 15, they were my support system. I told them and they expressed their disappointment and told me it was going to be very hard for me. They were very concerned whether I was going to finish school or not. I told them nothing in the world would keep me from getting my diploma. That’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted in life.
David was so excited about the baby! But I began to get very scared about whether I would be able to handle a child and still finish school. I cried all the time and when I talked to him about he was very upset. He said, “Well give it up for adoption, I don’t care,” and hung up the phone. I knew he was just angry at me for have anxiety about the baby, and that he really DID care. He wanted the baby.
I still believe that I went through all the emotions that most girls do when they find out they’re pregnant unexpectedly. Abortion once crossed my mind, but I quickly got it out of there. It goes against everything I stand for and believe in. As soon as I felt her kick, I knew I could never do anything to let her out of my life. She became mine and it all became real to me then. I had gone to the doctor regularly, but on one scheduled visit, they wanted to do another ultrasound. They told me that the ventricles in the baby’s head were too big and that they could never see the bottom part of her spine. I was sent to a hospital 2 hours away to have more extensive ultrasounds done. I was a nervous wreck up until we got to the hospital. During the ultrasound, I got hot and began to feel sick. I told the technician we needed to stop so I could sit up. She told me to roll over on my side. I did so, and it helped. After the second wave of sickness, I was back to normal again.
We were sent to wait on the doctor’s results in a room. We were not nervous at all. It just seemed like everything was fine, like I knew there was nothing wrong with her. Just like I thought, the doctor came in and said, “There’s nothing wrong with this baby! I don’t know what that other doctor saw yesterday, but there’s not anything out of the ordinary with this child.” We thanked him and headed home. I have no doubt in my mind that there was something wrong with her and my wave of heat and sickness was God’s way of taking it away from her.
There were so many people praying for her that day, and it just made us realize how precious life is.
David and I are getting married in June and Kiley is now a year and a half. She is so rambunctious and happy. I’ve never seen a more beautiful child. I think back now that I could have missed out on her smile, her kisses, and “Mommy. My mommy.” when I get home from work just because I was scared. I am graduating in May, thanks to my family’s help.
Through all the hard work and tears, it is all worth it!
Becky, I wish I had found your site while I was pregnant, it would have helped me a lot then. I feel like it’s still going to help me now!
Amber | firstname.lastname@example.org
Dearest Amber –
How wonderful your story is and how precoius your little Kiley must be. It is such a blessing to hear wonderful stories like yours and it really is an encouragement. I am so happy for you with your precious little girl. I’m sure she is absolutely the most beautiful little girl ever!
Thank you for sharing, Amber. You truly are a Stand Up Girl!
Luv Lisa | Contact Becky