Im still so lost

by | 2009 | Real Stories

Like many of us on here we all have a very important story to tell….and here is mine….I graduated from high school was your average student and had big plans for my life. I pretty much had the same boyfriend since our freshmen year in high school.  He was so handsome and smart but never […]

Like many of us on here we all have a very important story to tell….and here is mine….I graduated from high school was your average student and had big plans for my life. I pretty much had the same boyfriend since our freshmen year in high school.  He was so handsome and smart but never applied himself and could be so lazy but i loved him regardless. Then, in October of 2008 i found myself pregnant.Which I couldnt believe.I freaked out. At this time me and him were on again and off again.but he always dropped anything for me and told me everything was going to be ok.I knew I couldnt tell my parents because they just would be in such shock because im the last person they think this would happen to. I never had anything against abortions and never judged anyone for having one.I just always thought if i was in that situation I wouldnt be able to do it. But, see thats just the thing. Its different when it actually happens to you.

I thought about it for about 5 days and decided to do it. Only telling very few people.This included of course my boyfriend and my 2 sisters.

I knew I was only about 5-6 weeks.But with the nerves and everything I couldnt eat I was throwing up i lost about 6 pounds in less than a week.It started to make me sick mentally, on top of everything else.

 I had to be at the clinic at 7 in the morning. And the whole way up there i couldnt even think straight. As soon as I saw the clinic and we parked…I fell straight to the ground on my hands and knees throwing up.My boyfriend tryed to comfort me and I just didnt want to be bothered. My sister also went with us and she was more of man than my boyfriend was.We walked up to the front….having to pass people protesting and telling us how horrible we were. They finally let us in and the room just started to fill up.

Some were married some were young and some were alot older than me…

They finally called us all back and we had several things we had to do. We had to watch a video based on the type of abortion you were going to have (I decided on the medical or also called the abortion pill),ultra sound,blood work,urine sample,and physical exam.

At the end of the physical exam they gave me the first pill which stopped my hormones. So pretty much thats what actually stopped the pregnancy.Then they gave me a set of 4 pills which i Had to insert 2 days later.

The physical part didnt kick in till i inserted those 4 pills. The cramping was unreal and I bled so bad. But through all this my boyfriend all of a sudden decided that he was only going to come around when he had nothing else to do.So i layed in my bed for 3 days by myself with my sister in and out.When he should have been there. It usually takes something big for peoples true colors to show.

To this day he doesnt really talk to me and he so caught up in is life…Which hurts my feelings just cause it was him.the guy that was part of this mess.Do this day I still say hes just glad its over and he doesnt have to deal with it.But long story made short both of our parents found out.We told his parents right before it happened.But my parents found out by someone else.So to this day I still cry about it.I feel so alone, I got left literally laying on the floor. Im just trying so hard to except that I cant change what I did. I have to deal with my parents finding out by someone else, and then I have to deal with that loser that left me cause it was the easiest thing to do at the time. But I dont know.Thats my story.Any advice would help.

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