I found out that I am pregnant two weeks ago. I’m scared to go to the doctor to find out how far along I am. I didn’t plan to fall pregnant. It was the last thing I wanted. I feel like I’m trapped. My boyfriend is happy about the pregnancy and doesn’t understand how I feel.

I’m currently working, but I had planned to go back to varsity next year, but now I can’t. I can’t tell my family coz I’m scared of what they might do. I was meant to be the great child of the family but I messed everything up. I was thinking about having an abortion but I can’t find it in myself to do it. How do I choose between myself and the person growing inside me? How can I want to hurt an innocent being? But I find myself hating this poor little thing and that just makes me feel like a monster. Every day is a battle to survive. I find myself thinking more and more about killing myself. I even know how I’m going to do.

I feel trapped.