He came to me. The guy who forever changed my life. James! He just happen to be 5 years older. But it didn’t matter, for I was in love. I really fell hard for the guy. For once in my life, I was happy. James, was so different. He made me feel loved. Of course my parents didn’t know about him. They would pretty much kill me if they found out. So every night at midnight I would sneak out and see him.
Dear Becky — My story is the typical teenage one… girl falls in love, gets pregnant, guy leaves her. But first, I’m going to start from where it all began.
Im just a 15 year old girl, who wanted love. Who wanted to be loved…I was the type who always looked for it. I never could find that “right one”. So I began to just give up on it. They say to not look for love, that it comes to you.
Thats what just happened. He came to me. The guy who forever changed my life. James! He just happen to be 5 years older. But it didn’t matter, for I was in love. I really fell hard for the guy. For once in my life, I was happy. James, was so different. He made me feel loved. Of course my parents didn’t know about him. They would pretty much kill me if they found out. So every night at midnight I would sneak out and see him. He would always tell me that I was different then the other girls. That he was in love with me. I believed it. Every word he said. I found myself in love with him. It was weird for me because I never let myself go that deep. But I did. Before I even met James, I heard the stories… Hes the type who likes to sleep around. He was what they call a man whore. I didnt think things would get serious. So I really didn’t care. Then we ended up keep seeing eachother. I really didn’t want to get hurt. He told me that he was going to change…he wouldnt dare to sleep around. I was happy about that. Things were so great. He would call to say good morning….e-mail to just say he was thinking of me. One time, he even stayed up till 6 in the morning watching over me. Because stupid me, had too much to drink…and as I woke up he was all “I was sooo worried about you babe”….thats when I realized he was differnt. At that point we were “seeing eachother” for two weeks… This is where it all began… The symptoms!!!! I remeber the first time I told him that I might be pregnant… He would want to talk about it. But I was really scared. I would ask him to shut up. But he would remain to talk about it. He said that we had to be prepared in case the test came out positive. James then told me that he was really happy, that he was going to help me. That I had his support. I remember he said that it was a way for us to be together… So I was glad to hear that.
The next day, I planned to take the test. James said to me to not freak out about the results. Wait for him to be there, so he could help me get threw. When I finally took the test, It came out negitive…what a relief!!! When I told James the news, he said that he was hoping that it came out positive. He was hoping for me to be pregnant!! Another week went by, and I still felt symptoms, so I retook the test…this time. It changed my life forever…. Yes, it turned out I was pregnant. What was I going to do? But then I thought wait, I have James… So I stopped the worry, I called him up and told him the news, he was happy! I really didnt think I had any worrys. Except I still didn’t understand how he could be happy about this.
I told him that he was going to wake up in the morning and relize what I said. Come to
find out, thats exactly what happened…a few days past, no call….a week…two weeks… He became distant! I new what this ment, that he didnt want to help out anymore. It crushed me. I thought that maybe he was scared…. so I gave him time….time..time…and more time… I was hoping for him to have a change of heart. For him to want me back. But, it turns out all I did was keep
dreaming…nothing ever did happen. I didnt understand. How he could do that to me…after saying he would help me. I thought he loved me. Love only lasts so long. He had to leave me in a time like this. I needed to move on. Except that I still loved him. To this day, my heart could take him back. I realized that he wasn’t coming back. It hurt! Never in my life have I ever experienced a pain like that. I began to think…and I needed to be strong. Most guys to this to girls. I still have my moments when I break down, but I try my best to keep my head high. I had to for my baby….Everyday James goes threw my mind. I wonder what hes doing. How he is. I no hes going on with his life. Thats what I have to do. In the end itll all work out!
Im 15 and pregnant. I look on the bright side of things. Yah, maybe James did break my heart, but I have something to live for. I struggle all the time to pick up the phone…Still wanting to hear his voice. Its to hard though. About a week ago, I finally did get a hold of him. He was on his way to a chicks house. We did manage to talk for 10 minuts though…He said he was sorry that we havent talked. I was all James, youve got your life…and then hes all I could have called you!!! I thought maybe he really was sorry. Then he said he would call me back…..I waited!! I waited ALL night. He never called. TYPICAL! Im now 2 months pregnant…. I still keep picking up the phone….because I no that we have to discuss things. I mean hes having a child. He cant ignore that. I dont no if I should call him. I keep waiting for his call. But I no hell never call. Thats my story, I fell in love with a guy, when he found out I was pregnant, he never spoke to me again. Even after he said he would help me through this. I think that I learned a lot from this. I hope this inspired some girls. That sometimes you just have to let go. Guys will leave. I mean mine even said he would stay. You may be in love, but being pregnant scares the guys.
Thanks for reading this. Girls, youve got to stay strong. Theres always going to be struggles. But stay strong. One day, I may work up the strength to call James. One day… I hope you guys have better luck.
Dear Carol — WOW! Your story had me reading to the very last sentence! You know what Carol? You are a true Stand Up Girl! I will tell you though, please be prepared Carol. There WILL come a day when he will try to walk back into your life. He knows there is a baby on the way and he is not taking responsibility for his actions. Please try to remember that.
I think your story will encourage many other young women in their pregnancy as they will see that they are not alone. You know?
Keep standing tall Carol. You have a beautiful little life on the way. Take care of yourself and know that if you want to talk, I’m here for you.
Thank you for your e-mail.
Luv Lisa |