if i could turn back time…. :'((((

by | 2010 | Real Stories

im almost 18 and i just had an abortion the 20th of feb.. not by choice it was my boyfriend who said to do it because we couldnt do it, hes the only guy ive ever had sex with so i didnt know what to do.. well i made the biggest mistake of my life; […]

im almost 18 and i just had an abortion the 20th of feb.. not by choice it was my boyfriend who said to do it because we couldnt do it, hes the only guy ive ever had sex with so i didnt know what to do.. well i made the biggest mistake of my life; i had an abortion  at 7wks and 4 days. and i can tell you anyone wantng to get a abortion to  really think about this and not be pressured. no one in my family knows so im pretty much on my own through everything, i cryed myself to  sleep last night feeling like a murder. a murder of an innocent baby.. MY BABY….
idk how girls do this, mentally idk how i can get through this i cant really depend on my boyfriend becasue all hes worried about is the sex because i told him no more since mentally i cant do this again and i WONT do it again.. i feel all alone.. im feeling every emotion except the happy ones. i dont feel relieved, or glad, or free, i feel i failed as a person. i feel i took an innocent life who didnt ask to be brought into the world… i feel miserable. i keep replaying the day in my head over and over.. i got the ultra sound and saw my baby and i cried. then went to the operation room.. ive never prayed so hard in all my life. i changed into the gown prayed one last time ,said goodbye to my baby and the procedure begain…. i cant believe myself for what ive done.. i will never be the same again. and going through this alone is nearly killing me..  no girl  should have to endure such pain and the guys just dont understand the bond of a mother and her baby, he called it an “it” i never did. it was my baby, a part of me, i carried it for 7wks and 4days and the thought of it growing and never knowing that the 20th of feb would be the day i gave my baby wings just breaks my heart into.. mentally idk how i can take much more…
anyone who has been in my shoes please tell me how your dealing with this please..

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