I remember each second of that night. Each time I try to forget the pain and memory of that time, it is still there

I remember when you got on top of me and held me down and even though I screamed for help, nobody came. Now I live with it each day of my life. I try to remember it was not my fault, but still deep inside I think it was. How could you take something from me that was not yours to take? How could you sleep at night knowing that I can’t? How could you have raped me and pretend you never did?

How can I cope with it when I know I can’t??????