So yesterday my mum went & got me heaps of booklets on what to eat to promote a healthy pregnancy & i have to say i died a little inside. All these food products i know & love & treasure as dearly as my family & im forbidden from eating them. I am addicted to food. I love it. I eat when im hungry, i eat when im bored, i eat when im full, i eat when im watching tv, when im in class, on the school bus home, any place where you have the ability of both hands or a sitting position is when im eating. & the stupid list says i cant eat anything with raw egg in it. which is understandable, since raw eggs can carry samonella, but if only it wasnt in some of my favourite foods. Chocolate Mousse, or any mousse. Mayonaise. Mayonaise is one of my condoments. It goes on everything. & my favourite breakfast of all time, eggs Benedict, because there is raw egg in Hollandaise sauce. Now normally, i would say “screw it, im gonna eat what i want.” but i cant if i want to protect my baby, & isnt that what every mother wants to do? so i have to buck it up, & eat really good foods for my baby. Today, i managed breakfast, which was a little short of a blooming miracle. I have lots of wholegrain sandwiches & fruits for my lunch today. As much as i enjoy every type of food, im not afraid to give the health buzz a try. Maybe it will improve my skin & hair & nails. Who knows. But its for my baby & thats what matters. My sister who has a 6 month old little boy has completely & utterly black sheeped me for keeping the baby. I heard my mum & her on the phone last night. its kind of upsetting to know that my sister isnt happy for me, but i know that she has every right not to be very happy. She knows what raising a baby is like, even though Rogue is a very tough moddy little boy. But i cant help but feel like dark clouds are closing in on me as it feels like my partner & i are the only ones over the moon that we created a beautiful little person by the true love we share.  My partner, Dillon- his mother is not ecstatic either. He told her we were keeping it last night & she said “i knew you wouldnt go through with it. i knew you wouldnt have the abortion” which really upsets me. If its a girl she will be going crazy because she already has four boys, Mitchell, Dillon (my fiance) Kobe & Oskar. It feels so so so much better to be able to write this down & get it all out of my head. The only real obstacle i have is telling my real father. We have a great relationship, he didnt walk out or anything my parents got divorced when i was six but hes always been in our lives & been a great dad. He lives about two hours away so i see him often. He is the person i am afraid to tell. he has a violent past & i cant help but be extremely frightened of him. Then theres his stupid new wife who is just the ultimate precious snob. I used to have great respect for her until she called me a whore because i was sexually active. even when i was the legal age limit of 16 & had been with the guy for quite a while. I dont want her putting her 2 cents in, but i know she will & she will wind up my dad & all hell will break loose! what should i do? advice would be greatly appreciated!!!!

lots of love, Geo