My name is Jay, I’m 19 years old and I just found out last wednesday that I was pregnant. I’m about 2 weeks pregnant they said. The first thing I felt was a deep sinking feeling in my stomach, and even though I was surrounded by family when I found out, I was alone by myself.. stuck. This wasn’t planned at all, actually on oct. 6 is when things happened but the next morning I went and got the morning afterpill, obviously that didn’t stop the little guy from getting to his destination. It’s hard because no one understands me and everyone is saying to get an abortion. I do have plans for my future, I want to become a paramedic. I can’t decide on what to do and it’s so confusing. Last year in September, I was pregnant as well but I went through  with abortion and I promised myself I wouldn’t do it again and now I’m stuck once again facing one of the hardest things for a woman to go through, making the big decision. The guy who would be fathering this child is also 17, and I don’t think he realizes the responsibilites that come with a baby. Do I even really know?. I’m scared, I toss and turn every night trying to decide on whats right and whats wrong. If I were to have a child, I would want to provide for that child and not be broke or wonder how I was going to buy diapers next month or stuck on assistance. I want a life for myself and I don’t want to disappoint the loved ones around me, I need someone just as much as someone else might need me, this is my first time reaching out and I’m almost begging for help. I’ve read some girls stories on here and I feel I’m not alone anymore in the situation, but even still knowing that it’s still in your mind and you can’t run from it no matter what you do. I don’t want to be alone anymore.