I'm 16 and my daughter will be a month old tomorrow. I have had horrible thoughts of hurting her and I've been getting really frustrated with her alot where I start yelling and crying while she cries. I'm scared for both of us. I've had a history of depression since I was 12 and anxiety/OCD problems as well.
I love my daughter so much and I thought I would just struggle financially. It's the opposite. I have a place to live, we have food, we have money and we have clothing. I'm in school and I have all the love I need. So why do I feel like this?
To be honest, I have hurt her already. I pinched her and forced the bottle in her mouth and I just want help before its worse. I don't want to hurt her. I love her so much. I don't even realize what I'm doing until after. I figured this is the only place I could go to for help at first. I've tried talking to friends and family but they just scolded me and called me a bad mom and an abuser.
I have feelings of putting her up for adoption, leaving her, not feeding her, leaving her dirty diaper on yet I would never do these things. She is the light of my life and after I freaked out this morning, I just picked her back up, hugged her close and started crying.
I need help. Where do I turn to?