I want to share to you how abortion affect my life badly.
Its been a month to be exact and Im ready to talk about it.
It was just last month exactly this date of last month
I knew I was 6weeks pregnant and Im only 17..
Like all other girls in this site.. I post some question and
advice to what to do and what is good and right..
But my boyfriend wants abortion that he told me that we cant be together if I continue the pregnancy
and its just gonna ruin everything.. my life and his life..
Its not that easy, finances, time and future..
That time i was agreeing for what he said that he’s right..
But there were time i must keep my first child..
my grandma, my mom and my auntie was teenage moms..
and looking at what they been through was hard..
doing it all by themselves. I was like no way to be like that..
But they was strong and keep us, me and my cousins.
I was I must do the right thing.. I dont want them to be disappointed for being pregnant that they told me and let me learned their mistake but they just say its hard
and never tell me that they regret keeping us..
I thought of my boyfriend’s parents too.
How would they react, and how will be disappointed
and pissed to my boyfriend for me being pregnant..
So even I dont want to and Im not into it I went to abort my baby..
Even though I know how will hurt me so bad..
I still go for it.. and that was my final decision..
Nov. 6 2009 Friday 9:00am
I went to the hospital for my operation.. to abort my baby inside me..
It was a cold morning. I remember how clear happened on that day..
When I was in the hospital it was clear on my mind Im really going to it..
That theirs no going back, but when I was inside in the operating room looking and seeing the things they gonna be using to me I felt to run back
but i was stuck there in shock of what Im doing in that room..
Then, I sat on a chair, i dont know what it called and they injected the anesthesia and let me count, I remember the last number I said was 12
and I wake up in the recovery room saying “stop dont do it” then “call my boyfriend”
Then I felt like going to pee and ask the nurse if I can go.. after that i said “my baby is gone”
I was too high that time because of the anesthesia and I was like really drunk..
Around 12nn I went home and sleep.. before I sleep I cry myself telling myself
what I have done..
That night Im w/ my boyfriend and I told him that “I’m bit relief” ..
Maybe after few days, I dont know something hit my head and like killing me..
I regret it.. It was my choice, I thought I was right for doing it.. I was blaming everyone I thought that because of my pregnancy they be hurt and disappointed..
But now I was the one hurt and hating myself for picking them first than myself..
I hated my boyfriend that time.. to be honest it was just 2 weeks of hating everyone
being mad of them and myself..
After 2weeks of pain, darkness and agony. I keep telling myself until now that
I accept it.. that I choose the right thing but Its just my mind that accept what happend
Its just my mind telling me I’m fine but deep inside me Im still hurt..
Now I dont blame everyone that I thought that they want me to abort..
Im trying to put back all the pieces and think that my baby is fine in heaven..
I honestly being so selfish thinking that my baby forgives me and God forgives me too..
But It helps me to be so fine and not to cry for what Ive done:(
I’m hating myself now that i feel im moved on and thinking that my Baby is not mad to me..
I want you to know that if you are pregnant now and wants to get abortion..
ITS NOT THE RIGHT THING!! maybe in a way its RIGHT!
but in the end of the day.. its just gonna hurt you for what you did!
and its gonna haunt you for the rest of your life! LISTEN TO US! if you dont,, you just gonna hurt yourself..
like me, I thought that everyone says keep it in this site! but i thought they dont know how hard.. But I was WRONG! If i could ever go back that time they tell me to keep it!
I wish I did LISTEN to them!!
BUT NOW ITS TOO LATE!!
There is no going back!!:(
Please Listen and Listen to your heart!