Dear Becky | Your website was a huge encouragement to me during my pregnancy. I wanted to share my story in hopes it will encourage another young woman in her journey of becoming a mother.
I was pretty much a typical 17 year old. I was a junior in high school. I played varsity soccer and basketball and was the captain of both teams. I was dating the senior captain of the football team. I was well liked by my peers and had a great home life. I was born and raised in a Christian family. I went to church every Sunday morning and Wednesday evening. I knew sex before marriage was wrong, I had been taught it my whole life. Needless to say, I didn’t listen.
I found out I was pregnant halfway through my junior year. Nolan and I went to the store and bought a test. I waited until I got home and took it. Sure enough, it was positive. I never ever thought two little pink lines could be so scary. I took it again just to make sure. It was positive… again. I called Nolan and told him. We both cried. It was so terrifying. I was always against abortion until I was faced with this tough situation. I wanted to abort the baby but Nolan didn’t. He told me it was ultimately my decision and that he would support whatever I wanted to do but he didn’t want me to have the abortion. We went to Planned Parenthood. I received an ultrasound. I was 12 weeks. An abortion would be very expensive and very painful. The woman asked if I would like to see the baby. I told her I didn’t but she showed me anyways. Seeing my baby changed my mind. If it wasn’t for that woman, I honestly do not know if I would have my baby today. Anyways, we went home and just kind of ignored the fact I was pregnant. I guess we thought if we didn’t bring it up, maybe it would go away. But, it didn’t.
I finally told my mom when I was 22 weeks pregnant [I hid it very well]. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But she didn’t freak out. She was very calm and talked it out with me. [She did get very upset later]. She was the one who told my dad. I couldn’t. They were both very disappointed in me, but of course, they still loved me.
The months during my pregnancy were pretty rough. We considered adoption, but pretty quickly decided that we wanted to keep our baby. My relationship with my family was kind of rocky, but it got better every day. People at school talked about me behind my back. It was a very hard time. You really find out who your true friends are during a time like this.
I had Aviana [Ava] Ruby on August 15, 2007, exactly seven days before my 18th birthday. She was 6lbs 5oz and 20 inches long. And she was perfect. I never knew I could love someone like I love her. My whole perspective on life has changed. She is such a blessing to Nolan and I and both of our families. This little girl is so loved by everyone in her life.
Ava is now 9 months old. She is such a joy in my life. She truly is a blessing from God. There are not even words to describe how amazing it is to be a mother. As amazing as it is, though, it is hard. It’s not a walk in the park. I’ve had to give up so much. It was worth it but it was hard.
I will be graduating high school on May 25th and getting married to Nolan on June 5th. I currently have my cosmetology license and will begin working in a Salon and Day Spa after the wedding.
Even though this isn’t how I planned for my life to go, I’m happy with it. I wouldn’t change a thing. I am the person I am today because of Ava. I have an amazing relationship with Nolan. My parents and I have never been closer. I realize how fortunate I am. Most young girls are not nearly as blessed as I am.
I also want to let these girls know that I do not know how I would have gotten through this tough situation without Jesus Christ. He was there with me through thick and thin. Sometimes I was so mad at him. I wondered how could he let this happen to me? It took me a while to realize that I did this to me. It was my decision to have sex and these were the consequences. I was a very proud person and it was hard for me to admit my mistakes. God changed my heart in that way. He was there for me when I felt I had no one. Please girls, when you feel like there is no one turn to Him. He will help you if you let him. You just have to let your heart go.
I hope my story has inspired you or helped you in some way. This website is really an amazing thing for us girls. Take advantage of it. I wish the best for all of you and if anyone needs someone to talk to, please post it. I will be glad to give you my information.
Dearest Haley, Hi. I’m Lisa and I help Becky at the Stand Up Girl website with some of her e-mails.
What a beautiful story you have. What a Stand Up Girl you are. And also your fiance! What a Stand Up Guy he is!
Your story is very close to my story too. Unfortunately, I did not choose the wonderful choice that you did. Life I wish that I had. I love your story.
I know that your story will touch the hears and lives of many girls. Thank you so much for sharing and God bless you too.