The 1st day I knew I was pregnant was Oct. 14 that day I cant believe what my friend tell me.. My friend is the 1st one who see my Pregnancy test and I didnt believe it at 1st she let me see it.. it was a cross line.. it was a PLUS.. I first I laugh and tell her its a JOKE.. its not true it cant be.. but after that my tears begun to fall and telling her and myself its not true.. it felt the world

is crashing to me.. my friend cried w/ me and telling me i can feel your pain.. after that I text my boyfriend telling him I did it and it was Positive.. I told him I dont want to be alone that time I thought it was a good idea to be w/ him because of the mix emotion i have..


I know he dont want to have a baby and that time i was too.. but Oct. 16 we went to the hospital and we went there for abortion.. but after the scan that to make sure im real pregnant.. they let me see the baby inside me.. i saw the heartbeat moving and it felt so wonderful but i thought that time in soon time Ill wont have the baby.. we just waiting for my boyfriend’s salary for abortion..

But for everyday of waiting and for everyday i feel the baby inside me.. I more loving the baby…. I more want to save him.. but Im scared because I know I cant support my baby alone and I dont want my baby to dont have a father like me.. I really dont know what to do.. if ill fight for my baby or think that my boyfriend is right:(

You know the 1st time I knew I was pregnant I heard lots of badthings they all hurt me because of wanting my baby to abort but the truth is i dont want to abort the baby that my boyfriend is dont want the baby:(

I really feel lost and everything! I dont know….