I’m not quite sure what I’m hoping for.. I’m a few days late on my period and despite the circumstances, I know I’d be a really good mum and I’d put everything before my possible child, regardless of who supports me or not. I’m being realistic about my situation, I know I’ll most likely have to put off my education for a couple of years, I’m pretty sure with me being so young (I’m 16) my boyfriend (the baby daddy) won’t stick around, and I’m not entirely sure how I’d tell my mum. But all those things considered, I wouldn’t want to get rid of my baby (if there even is one). I’m in a way hoping I’m not pregnant, because it’s not the ideal situation to be having a baby so young with nothing set in stone, I’d much rather have a steady job, my own place and a steady relationship before I’d go down the baby route. But if this is what’s planned for me I’ll make the most of every second, because (even being so young) I know I was born to care for others and become a mum (I want to work in a hospital, to look after people). My family situation isn’t really ideal, so I want to start my own close-knit family; I suppose to fill some ‘void’ I must have from my own.. Some days I feel stupid for wanting a family so young, I know I’m too young to be able to support my baby in the way I want to but it still doesn’t stop me wanting to have my own little life to care for. Someone I know I could rotate my life around without the fear of being abandoned. It’s silly isn’t it? That a girl my age would actually want a child. But I feel I wouldn’t miss my social life as much as people say I would, taking care of a baby is what I was born to do. I don’t know, I just needed to get my feelings out on a page.
If I am pregnant I know I’ll feel on top of the world, and if I’m not I can start to plan towards a life with a baby in a settled environment, when I’m older. Thanks for reading my rambles xD