I feel that I need to tell my storey so that no one will make the mistake that I did.

I am 20 and have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years. Six months ago, I discovered that I hadn’t had my period. This was odd for me because I was on the pill. When I started to take the sugar pills, nothing happened. A week went by, still nothing. 2 weeks went by and I decided that I should probably tell my boyfriend. He was 3 years older than me so I thought he would have been able to handle it. But he freaked out and just kept saying I had to go and have a test. On my way to work the next morning, I went to a chemist by myself and picked up a pregnancy test. I thought I could do it sneakily at work and get a rough idea. I didn’t read the instructions too well and after the first test thought it was negative. I decided to do the second one just in case, this was more clear. Two red lines = pregnant! I felt scared and happy all at the same time. A million feelings rushed over me.

I told my boyfriend who freaked out even more. That night, I think we did about 8 different test from different chemists all with the same thing PREGNANT.

I didn’t know what to do. My boyfriend told me he wanted me to get an abortion, that I didn’t have any other way. “He’d be there for me” but was still pushing for an abortion. I hadn’t told my parents. I didn’t want to till I knew what I was doing. A week later, I went to the doctors and had it confirmed. My boyfriend came with me and tried to be supportive as he could.

I told my mum one morning before work. I just blurted it out. There was no perfect time to tell them that their baby girl was pregnant. She freaked out too, “You’re not keeping it” were her words.

I felt no support from anyone. My friends were all for my decision. Everyone said it was my decision. How could I keep my baby with no help and no support!! I wanted to. I really wanted to. I told my boy this but he wouldn’t take me seriously!!

I decided not to ruin everyone else’s lives. I booked an abortion. I didn’t realise I would be ruining my life by killing my innocent baby.

I went through with the procedure. It was horrible for one reason. But the people there were lovely. It hurt even though I was heavily sedated. It didn’t effect me much when it first happened, maybe because it didn’t feel real. But its been 6  months now and I would be 8 months along. It breaks my heart everyday thinking about what I did. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t cry. That I didn’t wish I could change my decision. But I can’t, I’ll never be able to.

I hope by reading this, girls who were in my position will consider keeping their baby like I wish I had of. Don’t think about anyone but you and your baby.

I will have to go through my whole life living with what I did. Don’t make the same mistake that I did. My boyfriend doesn’t understand why I still cry myself to sleep at night. Men have it easy.