Hey Becky it’s jalisa and i have a question my and my boyfriend Michael been seeing one another for 8 1/2 months….. we use to have fun… we had sex unprotected sex on his birthday but i was on birth control then we end up breaking up and then i found out that i was pregnant….
I never told no one but him and now he saying that it is his baby and now all of something he starts to care and he wants me to get an abortion…i mean i’m so confused because i really want to be with him i love him so much but i don’t know if you’ll feel the same way… should i get the abortion or not?
Jallisa
Dearest Jallisa – hi, my name is Lisa and I help Becky at the Stand Up Girl website with some of her e-mails.
Jallisa – trust me when I say that abortion is not the right answer to this. It’s not going to make everything go back the way it was before. You know? I can already tell that you have that motherly instinct alive inside of you … Yet you are trying to please everyone else by you.
You are a very important person in all of this … And so is your precious little baby. Your bf is asking you to do something that you will have to live with for the rest of your life. It really doesn’t
just ‘go away’. You know what I mean? The reason why I know this is .. Well … Is because I had an abortion and there is nothing worse than when you wake up the next morning and realize what has been done. That your baby is gone and there is nothing you can do to change it.Somehow it completely changes how your bf looks in your eyes too. Trust me when I tell you this. You can do this Jallisa. You can Stand Up Girl! I’ve seen so so many girls Stand Up and then …either days or a few weeks … Maybe even a couple of months later the bf realizes what is taking place. He’s a father and he Stands up too. There are, however, a few that may not Stand – BUT this is YOUR baby. This is your child inside of YOU. He has absolutely no right to claim the life of your baby and for his convenience tell you what he think or wants you to do.
Jallisa – You see, you and I are on a road called life. When we both came to a fork in the road, one road was called “Abortion” and the other “Life”. I chose the road of abortion and you still stand at that fork in the road. I am able to come back to you from that road and say “Please don’t take this road. Do you see that bend on the road ahead? There is nothing but sorrow, grief, pain, guilt and shame around that corner. There is a feeling of loss like no mothers heart can know and the reason that there is a bend in that road is because the ONLY way that you will ever understand it or know it is to walk it. Please … that road will be the very same for you, so please take that road of life. Tell me what it is like. I so wish I could go down that road instead. But I cannot. It’s too late for me and my babies. But it’s not for you and your’s.”
OK – now that that is said, let me go down the road of your life a little bit. Trust me when I say that the choice of abortion is truly a tragic choice. Especially as you learn about the development of babies in the womb. You will NOT be able to get out of your head “What did my baby go through? What did my baby look like? What stage was my baby at when I aborted him/her?”
There are so many times when I just wish that I could hold my little baby in my arms. Just at least once. I wish that I could feel his breath in my hair or even to change my babies diaper and see my baby giggle. To see that little gumless smile and to touch my babies face. I will never be able to do that. I will never hear “Mommy”, I will never get to wake up in the middle of the night and go to look in at my beautiful little baby in his or her crib sleeping like an angel. I will never get to feel the movement of my baby in my womb – and ohh how I long to experience that.
Please know that no baby that I could even have today would replace the 2 beautiful babies that I aborted.
All of this to say – please understand that you have that motherly instinct strong and alive in you right now. Do NOT allow yourself to be deceived into believing that you can just go on with your life as normal after abortion. The world of abortion is a world of shame and it is NOT talked about very openly. Ohhh everyone says it should be legal and it’s OK – but how many girls do you hear talking – in passing saying “Oh yea, I had an abortion a couple of days ago. It was a pretty simple procedure.” You might hear a girl talking about getting a piercing or a tattoo! But not an abortion. You know? Why? Because it is a painful, private and subject of shame. Especially those of us that have done it.
Please let me know what I can do. Here is a website to help you locate a nearby center that is completely free and confidential for you. They can help you too. Remember, I’m just a keystroke away.
OK?
|www.OptionLine.org
Please let me know how you are.
Luv Lisa
Lisa – thanks you made me realize that this is my baby and plus if i would got the abortion it only would of been because of him.. and i dont wanna have a life full of reget that not good at all…..this is really confused and hard to do this by yourself..i really wish that he would help me he just left he doesnt even care anymore.he gonna tell me after i get this abortion he don’t want nothing to do with me or my baby so im not getting it. i just wish that he can be a man and realize that we about to have a baby…
Can you send me some information about having a baby and doing it on your own?
Jallisa
Hello. My name is Adrianna I’m an 18 year old girl and my boyfriend is only 21 years old we’ve been together for 2 years. I’m 3 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend wants me to have an abortion because we not financially stable, but I’m afraid to have an abortion and honestly I badly want to keep the baby. What should I do?
Hello
U should not have a one..
i cant have kids and if i could i would keep it of find someone that cant have kids like me…
Believe me Jallisa…women are amazing at finding the strength, motivation, courage and resources when we need it the most. I'm a 34 yr old single mum of 5 children and when I got divorced 11 yrs ago I was so scared and thought ..how am I gonna do this…it felt like my world had been turned upside down and I was trying to catch all the pieces as they came crashing down around me…It took awhile but my natural instinct to provide, nurture and care for babies kicked back in…and we're all just fine today 🙂 You and your baby will be fine. You'll hold him/her in your arms for the first time and will think…”There's nothing more precious than you my baby…why was I so scared” and you'll just do whatever needs to be done. Just remember, your baby is innocent and the main thing that he/she will need from you is your unconditional love. He/she truly is a gift from your Heavenly Father…that is how much he loves and trusts you…He is sending you one of his children to love, raise and teach… You'll be ok 🙂
May God bless you and your baby
may God bless you and your baby richly
I have been in your shoes and when i went for an abortion to please my boyfriend (ex boyfriend now) it only made things worse! We tried to patch things up after the abortion but we could not get over the fact that we murdered our baby and eventually we end up without each other. Believe things will come right and do what you think is best.
keep it together gal and always do what's best for you and your baby not him cause abortion won't fix your relationship it bring new problems and big ones. Think o you first and the rest of the world second. Knowing that will even make you a great mom.
i have been through way too many self- made disasters. i cant call them mistakes as i think i have dug my own grave and lay in it. im 19 years old. i have been pregnant 3 times. and i have no children. guesse that tells you what happened… i tried to find ways to tell my parents but what i learned during that time was that my step father would disown me if he found out im pregnant. my all those guys that i fell pregnant while i was preg. basically didnt give a tear. how amazing my life had changed. i wish you good luck my dear.
I’m currently pregnant and my boyfriend wants me to get an abortion. This happened twice now with the same boyfriend.
He said if I keep it he will run away and never have contact with me again. The first time I had a miscarriage and he was happy about it. But now I’m pregnant again. And have the same problem. I rally want to have a baby. I feel like crying all day.
I also felt same way and I have been through it all, sometimes I realized I love you from a guy doesn’t really mean I love you.
I have been hitting myself in the stomach for the last four months of my pregnacy because i was mad art my boyfriend. Also i just found out that he has another girl pregnate to. I haven't had any prenateal care and i feel so bad. all i have been able to do is cry my eyes out and say sorry to my unborn child. There is no feeling worst then knowing that i have harmed my child. I pray that when i go to the doctor that my child is still alive.I haven't even had a abortion. Baby girl he is not worth it. you have to think about you and your child. He has no right to claim that child. It is growing in you and that pain will never go away. He can wake up the next day and won't feel the diffrence but you will. when i had my first pregnacy and had to go to the doctors because i was having a misscarage the doctor was looking for a heart beat at two months my child had a heart beat to look for.My parents tried to tell me that it was still just a sperm. when i looked at the ultra sound it had hands and feet. That baby is alrady there. Do your bests by it and take care of it. Because i regreat what i have done everyday please don't do the same.
hey jalisa my name is lilly and im 16 i had my baby at 15 and i kno im young but being a mom is the best thing ever. i know you lovethe man but if i was yu i wouldnt listen to him that is a gift from god and an abortion is not the answer just follow ur heart..
CONGRATULATIONS Jalissa! You are a mommy! The life of this baby is precious. “3For you formed my inmost being.
You knit me together in my mother’s womb. – (Psalms 139:13). Don't worry about your boyfriend, you don't need him. If you see what is really inside, hear his heartbeat, you will know that he is human and deserves to live. God doesn't give you the choice over the life of another person he has created. Remember God is his Father! God will protect your child and love him. The Bible says: “you [God] are the helper of the fatherless” (Psalms 10:14), “A father [God] of the fatherless” (Psalms 68:5), “he [God] relieves the fatherless and widow” (Psalms 146:9)! “But you brought me out of the womb.
You made me trust at my mother’s breasts.
 10I was thrown on you from my mother’s womb.
You are my God since my mother bore me.” (Psalms 22:9), “I have relied on you from the womb.
You are he who took me out of my mother’s womb.
I will always praise you.” (Psalms 71:6), “Behold, children are a heritage of Yahweh.
The fruit of the womb is his reward.” (Psalms 127:3), “5As you don’t know what is the way of the wind,
Nor how the bones grow in the womb of her who is with child;
Even so you don’t know the work of God who does all.” (Ecclesiastes 11:5), “24Thus says Yahweh, your Redeemer, and he who formed you from the womb: I am Yahweh, who makes all things; who stretches forth the heavens alone; who spreads abroad the earth (who is with me?)” (Isaiah 44:24), “1Listen, isles, to me; and listen, you peoples, from far: Yahweh has called me from the womb; from the bowels of my mother has he made mention of my name” (Isaiah 49:1), “Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yes, these may forget, yet I will not forget you.” (Isaiah 49:15), “5Before I formed you in the belly I knew you, and before you came forth out of the womb I sanctified you” (Jeremiah 1:5). Do not let your womb be your babies grave! Bare forth the fruit of your body – you were made for this. Your womb is not meant to be the dieing place of your baby! Remember that your baby can't run away, he is trapped in your body and at your mercy. Don't be thoughtless, don't be selfish! Keep your little one, he is the most beautiful thing you'll ver see. Your boyfriend pales in comparison! you are the most luckiest girl because you're going hold the miracle of God in your arms! You will have litlle arms around your neck hugging you so tightly! You are going to hear little giggles! He will put his tiny little hands on your breasts as he suckles from them for life! I know, I'm 23 and I have a 6 month old baby! I'll give up everything I have for him, walk naked in the streets, be the dumbest most uneducated woman on earth, starve, have no man to love me, just to have my little baby boy in my life! You'll understand when you meet yours! Make a date with life and destiny, not with death and depression!