My best friend and I have lived together since the tenth grade.
Her parents took me in and have been caring for me for the last three years. in those years we as a family have had our ups and downs. Currently, I am pregnant for the second time. The first time I became pregnant, the child was a product of rape. This time, I am just pregnant. The first time, I was I had a miscarriage. Even though the child did not come about the right way, I still wanted to have it. When the child died, it broke my heart every day. It felt like a piece of me was missing. So I decided that I wanted a baby. So one day, when I was with my boyfriend, I was highly depressed. The only thing I could think about was my child. So in the end, I got pregnant. If you have read my other blogs, you will know that soon after, I regretted it. My boyfriend and I didn’t work out I got accepted to the school of my choice and I WAS PREGNANT. Who was I going to tell and what exactly was I going to do? So I began trying to force myself to have a miscarriage and starve myself. But as time went on, my stomach still began to grow. I began to feel bad for my child. I told myself what kind of mother am I that I would treat my unborn child like this. Of course, there was no guarantee that my baby would have a father or that I would have a place to stay. Most of all, how was I going to tell these people that took me in that I was going to have a baby?
When the secret finally came out, after a trip to the doctors one day, my best friend’s mother was very supportive and understanding. The only thing now was where exactly was I going to stay? She told me to go talk to my biological mother about staying with her, but for me, that wasn’t an option. So I began looking for shelters and other places to live. Because i knew I needed to be out of their house at least by graduation. The kids at school began to notice a couple of weeks after my doctor visit. They began asking questions about the father and whether I wanted the baby. I had already told my best friend’s mother that this baby is not what I wanted. But I didn’t want the kids at school to know that I kind of figured that it was none of their business. So I began telling the kids at school that I wanted a baby and that the father was just a sperm donor. I already knew that some people knew that he had another child on the way besides mine’s. So I figured to cover it up and make like I didn’t care about him and all I wanted was the baby. But the truth was and still is that I love him and would like to get married some day.
Through all of this, my best friend stood out on the side line and watched. I knew that she felt some kind of way because she didn’t like the father of my child. As the days went on, people began to tell her that I said I wanted the baby. She also was told that I said something about her parents and how they were acting toward me. Nothing good or bad, I just knew that I couldn’t stay there and that I needed to leave. So the other night, she kicked me out of her house and told me that she never should have allowed me there and that I was dumb and basically she didn’t want anything to do with me and my child. To me, that was fine, I didn’t mind. She had a right to feel anyway she wanted.
