I am 21 years old and I have just recently come across your website and really have appreciated going through it. I read a story that was posted on March 7, 2002 and it reminded me a little bit of my story. I conceived my child March 1, 2002 by one of my best friends. At the time, I was 20 years old. It was a complete and honest mistake that we even ended up together that night, but we all make mistakes. Anyway, about a week later, I just had this eerie feeling that my body was going through a lot of changes. I have had a couple of pregnancy scares before, but this time seemed totally different. There are no words that could really explain what I was feeling.
Almost four weeks after that night, I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive. I took a second one just to be on the safe side and it also came out positive. At that point, my jaw just dropped. I stood in shock in my bathroom for a good 2 minutes without even moving. I knew I had to tell the father right away. So I called him to have him come over and when I showed him the pregnancy tests, his reaction was the same as mine, his jaw dropped said a couple of words expressing disgust and we both started crying. We were both so scared. Other than his family, I am the only other person to ever see him cry in his entire life.
Anyway, to get to the point, after the shock had passed, he told me he wanted me to have an abortion. I told him no way, there’s no way I am going to do that. He told me that if I didn’t have an abortion, he would have nothing to do with me, or the baby. That upset me beyond belief. So many things were going through my head. A few days passed and he called me up one night, crying, apologizing for even mentioning the abortion and apologizing for putting me through that. He said that he was prepared to support me in every way he knew possible.
I kept putting off telling my parents because I didn’t know exactly how to tell them. I finally worked up the courage to tell my parents. I called my mom one morning and told her the news. The first thing she told me was that she thinks I should have an abortion. The feelings I was experiencing at that point in time were completely indescribable. I could not believe, my mom, a practicing Catholic even mentioned abortion. I was even more confused and scared than ever. I told my mom that I wasn’t going to let it happen. I wasn’t going to have the abortion.
To make an even longer story short, I end up having the abortion, thinking that it would make everything better. I was completely wrong. For me, abortion was not the answer. I let someone else talk me into doing something I was, and still am, completely against. I knew in my heart that abortion was wrong and that I didn’t want to do it, but I did it anyway. I did it just to please my parents.
If not anything else, the one thing I have learned from my situation is that no matter how hard it is, don’t let someone else tell you what to do. If I had to give my advice, it would be to follow your heart. If you know deep down that you should or should not do something, you should totally follow your gut instinct. Don’t listen to anybody else and don’t do things just to please anybody else, because it’s so not worth it.
Thank you for your time and consideration in reading my letter.
“I lift my eyes to the hills–where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1,2.
Lift your eyes to the Lord. He will comfort you in your sadness and pain. No one knows the pressures and grief you’ve been through like He does. You were experiencing such fear and anxiety and those around you, even your mother, were telling you to have an abortion. Fear and the desire to please those we love can cause us to overlook what we know in our heart to be right and make us choose impulsively, and therefore make the wrong decision.
God loves you and sees you in your sorrow and forgives you. Turn to Him for comfort. He is waiting with open arms. He can heal you and make you whole again. Place your life in His hands.
Keep in touch!