You kinda have to feel sorry for the guys sometimes, because they have so much to live up to with the whole “Prince Charming” thing, you need to have realistic expectations for any relationship you get into. Here’s something you have to remember- Guys are clueless! Maybe not all the time, but sometimes, they don’t understand why it’s important to remember certain dates or why it ticks us off when they go off somewhere with boys and why we don’t just sit down and watch the game with them instead of pouting that they aren’t listening to us.
So how do you find Prince Charming?
In the last article we found out about that dreaded FPS (Frog Prince Syndrome) that most women suffer from- if there was a vaccination for it, I would get a yearly shot, because FPS causes havoc and misery in the lives of so many women in the world.
Here’s the scoop! The first step to finding the right guy for you, has more to do with you than it does him. It has to do with you deciding that you are worth something, that you deserve to be respected, to be honored, cherished and loved by a sacrificial love. Frogs can’t stand a strong woman, a real princess. Be strong. A princess is only a match for a prince. Be that royalty!
The second step to finding a the right guy for you is by going back to step one and saying, “okay, now that I know I am worth something, what kind of guy do I think is worth having in my life? What kind of person should he be” and MAKE A LIST! There are some things that I think you absolutely have to have on your list.
1. He should believe in God. Ah… I bet ya’ll think this is a cliche? But someone who knows what’s right and wrong and wants to do right… some of the closest guy friends in my life respect God and I look up to them and feel safe with them because it’s important to them to make good choices. They make those choices based on what they know God expects from them. If he doesn’t believe in anything, he will fall for anything and chances are he will fall with you as well.
2. He has to respect you! Too many guys out there don’t even know what the word means, so you have to make sure that you find one that does, ’cause trust me, the last thing you need is a dude that doesn’t respect you. He has to value you as an individual, value your personality, your thoughts, your beliefs, your time, your money and just in general the things that are important to you! I had a friend who enjoyed making me waste my time and money on the phone with him, having a pointless conversation, he lashed out at my thoughts on anything, used to call me names! Attacked my beliefs and you know what… I really cared about him, but I broke our friendship- and it hurt! but I had to step back and look at myself and say- “Nicolette, you need to learn to respect yourself and part of respecting yourself in not being in relationships that tear you down!” and I kicked the froggie out! But it wasn’t easy and it still isn’t! sometimes I just itch to sms him or call… but I bite it down, because I know I deserve so much better than that.
3. HE HAS TO RESPECT YOUR BODY!!! And I am absolutely disgusted by the way that guys in our generation don’t respect our bodies, I mean HELLO!!! whenever I switch on the T.V. and see some rapper saying I should shake my “whatever”. I think Heck No! I’m not going to shake nothing for nobody! Because my value isn’t in my body! Any guy that thinks that my value is in my body- just isn’t good enough for me! I can promise you that “Hell hath no fury” like when I turn on someone who thinks I’m a piece of meat!
4. He has to respect himself and his body. If he doesn’t respect himself, he won’t respect you, because no one treats you better than they treat themselves… he will not respect you or your body if he doesn’t respect himself. So what does it mean when I say that he has to respect his own body? He has to be clean, he has to be conscious of the things he eats- does he smoke? Does he do drugs? And what kind of relationships does he have with women? Does everyone see him at the kind of guy that can be found with any girl? I have a friend, who respects his body enough that he avoids getting into relationships with girls he knows don’t know how to keep their hands to themselves and who will expect more from him than he is willing to give. He has to respect himself.
5. He has to respect other people around him, how does he treat his mother? Ah… I bet ya’ll think this is another cliche?- but a guy will treat you the same way he treats his mother or other females in his life. You have to find out. How does he treat other people in general, is he rude and disrespectful? He has to have manners, he has to be considerate of other people’s feelings… don’t end up with someone who only cares about himself and what he wants. He has to value other people’s thoughts, property, big or small, rich or poor, how he treats anyone should count, like I can’t stand people who say nasty things like, “oh she’s so fat!”, “Oh he is so ugly- look at those ears!”, “look at that dress, it’s so ugly” I hate that! because I think it shows a lack of respect for other people. He has to respect other people.
6. He has to be going places… because women often get into relationships to give themselves a sense of worth, a sense of meaning, it is inevitable that you will find yourself identifying with this guy. You’ll do some of the things he does and will go the places he goes and if he is a loser, you will end up a loser as well. That is why it is so important to find someone that that knows who he is, he knows where he is going in life (and I mean realistically- if he thinks that quitting school and becoming a rapper is going to be his future… you will end up a groupie for a low class musician) one of my mentors, once spoke to our school and said, “girls make sure that you end up with a man with a vision, with ambition, with a dream because when you marry a man you marry into his dreams and his goals in life” and I think it also applies to dating… Does he have focus? Or is he a slacker? And WHAT DOES HE FOCUS ON! Cause believe me it’s possible for a guy to have focus with a games console for days on end, or on his clothes or his music… is he going anywhere? If you find yourself with a guy who has no focus, he’ll make you lose your focus too… As a young woman you should be going somewhere, moving towards some goal and you need someone in your life who won’t distract you, but help you move that way and for him to help you do that, he must have focus (on the right things) and he must be going somewhere. 10. You can add anything else onto the list that you think is important to you.
At the end of the day it better to know what you want and go for it, instead of not knowing and going for whatever comes along. No one out there is perfect, and yeah, I now that kinda bursts your bubble… but all those super-gorgeous and super-lucky babes that got the prince in the end of the fairytales, we never got to hear what happened after the “Happily ever after.” I can promise you that there was a BIG “But” after that. So I’ll do the honors… “And they lived Happily ever after- BUT all relationships need tons of work, they hurt sometimes and sometimes they are wonderful, Prince Charming is also human and he makes mistakes sometimes, but if he is a really good guy (REALLY) those mistakes can be learnt from and in the end will make your relationship stronger”
You kinda have to feel sorry for the guys sometimes, because they have so much to live up to with the whole “Prince Charming” thing, you need to have realistic expectations for any relationship you get into and Psst! Here’s something you have to remember- Guys are clueless! Maybe not all the time, but sometimes, they don’t understand why it’s important to remember certain dates or why it ticks us off when they go off somewhere with boys and why we don’t just sit down and watch the game with them instead of pouting that they aren’t listening to us. THEY ARE CLUELESS- So we should live with it. But the secret with living with it is trying our best not to lose it when they do something CLUELESS and figure out first if it’s just a guy being a guy or it’s a guy being a loser- and if it’s a loser then you can tell him to get lost!
All this boils down to knowing who you are, knowing your worth and choosing to wait for the prince and not settle for a frog, no matter how desperate or lonely you are and it’s also about taking time to look at yourself. Are you really ready for a relationship? Can you go down the list of qualities I have set for Prince Charming and truly say you are all those things, because what you want to get you also have to be willing to give to someone else. Relationships involve two people and if you aren’t all those things maybe you should be willing to take some time off to learn to be the sort of person Prince Charming would be happy to live “Happily ever after – BUT” with. The sort of person who gives the best of themselves and gets the best from their Prince. If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything, so make a stand for what’s right, for self-respect and self-worth, be a STAND UP GIRL and get the Prince you deserve.