I just feel completely empty- my world is wrapped around two dates:
- 15th March 2008, the day my child, my little baby was conceived.
- 1st July 2008, the day my little one was taken from me in the most un-natural way.
I have so much resentment towards my mother; I can’t forgive her. I can’t forgive myself. I keep asking myself the same questions:
- Why didn’t she support me like she always said she would?
- Why was I never allowed to see my own child?
- Would I have been such a bad mother?
- Why does she still till this day pretend anything happened?
These are the questions that will never be answered.
I know everyone tells me that my baby and God have forgiven me and I now need to forgive myself- but how can I? How can I forgive myself for not standing up to my mother, for not being the voice for my own child?
That’s all my life is now- emptiness, resentment and unanswered questions.