i just feel completely empty- my world is wrapped around two dates:

  • 15th March 2008, the day my child, my little baby was convieced.
  • 1st July 2008, the day my little one was taken from me in the the most un-natural way.

i have so much resentment towards my mother; i cant forgive her. i cant forgive myself. i keep asking myself the same questions:

  • why didnt she support me like she always said she would?
  • why was i never allowed to see my own child?
  • would i have been such a bad mother?
  • why does she still till this day pretend anything happened?

these are the questions that will never be answered.

 i know everyone tells me that my baby and God have forgiven me and i now need to forgive myself- but how can i? how can i forgive myself for not standing up to my mother, for not being the voice for my own child?


thats all my life is now- emptiness, resentment and unanswered questions.