i just feel completely empty- my world is wrapped around two dates:
- 15th March 2008, the day my child, my little baby was convieced.
- 1st July 2008, the day my little one was taken from me in the the most un-natural way.
i have so much resentment towards my mother; i cant forgive her. i cant forgive myself. i keep asking myself the same questions:
- why didnt she support me like she always said she would?
- why was i never allowed to see my own child?
- would i have been such a bad mother?
- why does she still till this day pretend anything happened?
these are the questions that will never be answered.
i know everyone tells me that my baby and God have forgiven me and i now need to forgive myself- but how can i? how can i forgive myself for not standing up to my mother, for not being the voice for my own child?
thats all my life is now- emptiness, resentment and unanswered questions.