did they put you

in a jar

or a tube,

 and tossed you aside

in a rusty old  sink

like garbage?


 id like to call up God

and ask him why…..


 why my cries were

never heard, 

 and why noone ever cared,

and why i was left without you..


 why you never had a birthday,..

and no songs were ever sung,…

 and why you never even had

a fighting chance..


and why the only place

i'll ever hold you 

is the hollow of my heart..


 then i would beg God 

to never be forgiven..


fearing if i were ,

somehow that would mean 

i would have to

let you go…


 just like i did


on that day

when they put you in a jar

or a tube 

and tossed you aside

in some rusty old sink

like garbage… 


there are some

who say it does not matter ..

but i do not agree…


 for i know i would have loved you

have i ever had the chance 

to be your mother!  



i found that today when i was all down searching through the internet..

it is so like describeing my feelings today..

it has been 1 year and 11 months today 13/09/08

my lil baby would be old around 1 year and 3-4months..



**!!Mommy misses you so much!! **