I’ve been on and off with my ex for 3 years now, and a week ago, I have found out that I am pregnant. I am about 7-9 weeks now, and at first, him and I were ok but then he told his parents, who are going to support my choice either way but this is a decision between me and the ex. I’ve already been threatened by a couple of people including his sister, and wanting me to get an abortion. With all that drama, he changed his mind too. He’s told me he isn’t going to love me anymore if I keep it, and that he is going to go to the military. So he could support it but either way, he wants nothing to do with me. He told me that he’s obviously not ready and he doesn’t think I am either.

But this is something that isn’t planned. He and I both know that and of course, we aren’t going to be ready, right? This guy has everything given to him, he has never had to face a problem because of his actions. It has always been about him, and his wants and needs. Now me, on the other hand, I no longer live at home, and I am now currently unemployed, and pretty much have nothing. Last year, I went through depression because of this guy, and I’ve thought over my choices and I thought if I got an abortion yeah, Id still be living with him but only cause he feels guilty. So I know where I’d be staying, but I feel like I’m going to lose lack of motivation of getting on my feet. Cause this is huge. If I get rid of this baby, then what? I feel like I wont go anywhere, and I have nothing going on in my life so I obviously don’t see anything for me. Either way, I know the father is not going to be in my life the way I want him to be or to love me that way that I’d like and I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around that.

But the twist is I have found a place that I could go to about 30 minutes away, where I’d have my own room, and I would be given a doctor that they have worked with over the past 17 years, and there I’d be required to work or be in school least 20 hours a week. And I’d learn basic skills like cooking, and I’d have a counselor to talk to and know my options about everything, and I think it would be great. If I were to have the baby, I would have a lot more to give than I would without this help. And I feel it would get me on my feet. Just I don’t think I am ready to have a kid. It’s a huge commitment, and it’s going to be with me the rest of my life, and its going to be a struggle with child support with the dad, and I can’t rely on him to be there in the future. He’s not faithful, I know he would move on with his life. And I just don’t know what to do and I’m completely lost and I need help. I feel this is too big for my head to handle.

I am Christian, and I don’t believe in abortion, and I feel like I’d be losing my faith. Just I wish there was a way I could talk the father into realizing that things would be okay, or to even appreciate my choice if I were to keep it. I’ve given up my mind, body, and heart for this guy just what more do I have to give. I try to think of what would be right for the baby’s life, and that would mean to go to that house. But I think about my life and I just don’t even know what to think about myself. And all it would do for the father is freedom and him to not learn from anything, and to continue living life, and flousing around with other girls for who knows how long, and I mean he calls me selfish, but am I being selfish? I think he is, cause he is thinking bout his life, even though he says it’d be the best for both of us. He’s still thinking more about himself than me, and I think it is more self centered around him. Just, am I wrong to keep the baby?

Either way I feel I’m doing something horribly wrong, SOMEONE JUST HELP ME FAST! If I go with abortion, he wants me to go NEXT WEEK. So please just help me come to my senses. Thank you for your time.