I was 10 when i lost my dad, I was 15 when i lost my mom. I was with my boyfriend almost a year when my Mom pass away.. Since that time i was sexually abused and had trust issues with Guys. But my boyfriend was compelety different.. He was a life that i adore and couldnt let go.. We were trying to have a kid.. when mmy mom was alive, i was really depress with the lost of my dad. I thought having a kid would fill the hole i had in my heart. i wanted a kid since 13. I met him and I didnt tell him that i wanted a kid but in 6 month of the relationship we tried to have a kid for awhile but it wasnt sucessful at all. My mom pass away, my brother moved away. I was really depress to the point where i didnt care about Life. My boy friend, Brandon was being an ass. A month after i moved in a Group Home, That was hell and also did i discover that i was pregnant but i didnt know at that point, I was stress of my loss of parent and blaming me Because how they died.. I was pissed at the world. Yet did i know i got a beautiful baby inside of me. I was mising my period. I thought maybe it was related to my stress.. Also the court for the sexual assualt, i never occur to me that i could be pregnant, so i went to buy prengnancy test, the guy said to us “good Luck” and i half smile. i took it, both were positive and i kept it cuz i was only 15, they(Group Home)me to get an abortion and i didnt want that. Once i turn 16, it was time to find out, they took me and i was ten week pregnant, all i could think WHAT in the world am i going to do?! My doctor ask me what did i wanna do. I couldnt give him an answer, I was shocked and couldnt believe it, i just bawlled. I was hoping a misscarriage. I reget it after.. I wanted this baby Because it was the gift form my parents. she compete the broken heart that i had for years.. when i was 18 week, i fiound out i was having a girl, i call her after her my mom. My mom and My dad were my world, If i had a Boy i was going to call him Connor Vernon Dwyer.. I had a girl and call her Lillian. My biggest fear was Child Protection and trying to rasie her while im going to High school.
Now, she is 8 month old. she loves being nosy, She is happy, She has a great parents, she may not kn0w her grandparents but ill tell her so many stories of them and how much they would love her, I know being 17 and having a kid is hard but i wouldnt change the world, she change me in many ways, i forgave myself of loss of my parent and stop being so angry with me, im not depress anymore, she my little light that crck in the box 🙂 i love her. she love mama. This is my life and story, everyday it just get better