Hi my name is Anilames and I am 20years old. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and one month now. I found out I was pregnant when I was two months along. He has never wanted the baby and has threatened to kill himself if I didn't agree to go through with the abortion. Soo I reluctantly agreed and left him the responsibility of setting up the appointments with the family planning clinics seeing as this was something that he wanted and wasn't going back on. The thing is I am now 18 weeks pregnant, in NZ it is now illegal to get an abortion. He still hasn't set anything up and he has just found that abortion is not an option for me anymore, unless I have it done in Australia, which I know, due to my financial circumstances I can't afford. I know for a fact that from day one, I have always wanted to keep it, and now thats its too late for me to get the abortion done here in NZ, he's still in no mood to negotiate other options, like keeping it or giving it up for adoption. Its either I find a way to get rid of baby or he will kill himself. My parents also know about my pregnancy now, and they too want me to have an abortion. They said theres too many babies already with my older sister pregnant with her second child, and to go finish studying and get a degree. I want the baby, its kicking now and the feeling is amazing. Just a wonderful feeling, always brings a smile to my day. I would be happier if I had the support of my parents and boyfriend, but I don't. I just don't know what to do. Most nights I cry myself to sleep hoping that I won't wake up the next morning. Right now I just feel alone and can't stand the fact that my baby is in me and has to listen and feel everything I hear and feel. What type of life is it going to have if my parents and boyfriend don't want it? I know I will love it unconditionally but I just want to make my boyfriend and parents happy. Just soo confused right now.