A mother is she who can take the place of all others, but whose place no one else can take! Love, Brian

Above is a quote sent to me by my son. A son who I have always loved, from the day he was conceived. He has grown to be such a successful and handsome man.
In the picture he recently sent me, I see such love in his eyes. What beautiful eyes he has, they reflect such love and care. He’s grown to become a promising and talented man.
A computer graphics artists, he gets that from his grandfather.  I am so proud of him. Who knows what other plan God has in store for him.

I write this letter with tears in my eyes. I have tears of love, of joy, of pain. As of this day, I have never held him, kissed him, or sung him to sleep. But for me, that was ok.

At 15 I became pregnant with the help of a man who was an adult in age. Oh, what a mistake to be so selfish and not respect my body and my parents warnings.

a life was created and there is no turning back.  I had to grow up fast. I know I had to take care of him, but I had to proper means.  I know he deserved a life, a life with a Mom and a Dad, a life that would be best for him.  I had to turn off my selfish thoughts and think only what was best for him.

I did not destroy his life with abortion, that was out of the question.  What a tragedy it could have been to murder him.  God had a plan for this child.  I had no clue what it would be.  I had peace of mind knowing God would intervene.

Yes, it was hard, it was very hard: my body changed, it was humiliating for me and my family, and yes my heart broke over and over, but for me, this was ok.

The day came, he was born in the hospital, the nurses took him away.  Later, Catholic Social Services received him and away he traveled from me.

I did not even have a drivers license. My father picked me up from the hospital. I remember quietly crying the whole way home. How foolish I was to think I could do adult things.

As of today Brian is 36 years old, we have not yet held each other, we live 2,000 miles apart.  I cry writing this part of the letter. I cry because I know one day I will eventually be able to hold and kiss the sweet cheek of my son.  The only son I have ever bore.  What a horrible sin to would have been if I had an abortion. I would have destroyed the only son God ever blessed me with.  I have been married 28 years now to a man I met from another state. We have daughters, but for me this is ok.

I sacrificed my feelings for the love of my son.  I trusted in God and He blessed me with the return of my child in my life.

I tell this story because I find every life so precious. God has a plan for each and every one of us. Yes, everyone makes mistakes in life, this is how we grow, by learning from those errors.  We must step aside and let God work His perfect plan.  Who knows the next unplanned child could be a scientist who finds the cure for cancer or a doctor who saves your father’s life.  The present many times is unknown. Pray for strength and guidance, He is listening.

I close with my prayer, “Dear God, please forgive me for being so selfish when I was young.” And I hope God says, “For Me this was ok!”

A letter from-
My Loving Heart