Thought I would keep a blog about what im going through… So here it is…

Four weeks ago I started having cramps, and one day of light spotting, I think its my period, but the bleeding stops and the cramps remain. Alarm bells go off when I thought about how long ago my last period was, and the fact that I had sex a few weeks back and the condom broke. So pee’d on a stick and there it was, in two little pink lines confirming my wrost fear. So now knowing Im pregnant, there was bleeding and constent pain with cramps I take myself to the hospital thinking that there could be something wrong.

7 hours later I get to see a doctor, blood test were taken and a ultra sound done, baby is all good according to them but then I find out that my blood type is O-, and the complications that occur in negative mums were explained. I couldnt process all this info in one day, and the thought of being a single mum at 24 was never a dream of mine.
So I made a appointment at a abortion clinic for the following week, told the father, who was a friend of mine, he was more then happy to pay half with me, but later gave me all the money for it, which kinda made me feel bad. Almost like he was paying me to do this.

Whilst at the hospital, I was given a Anti D shot, which helps protect future pregnancies in negative blood group mums carrying posative babies, however, seen as I had already had bleeding, there was a chance it was to late, if that blood was my babies from two weeks ago, my body would have already produced anitbodies, which will attack any posative fetus I may later carry in life. But I still went through with the abortion…

The clinic toke more blood, and called me a few days later, telling me that I have antibodies in my blood now, and that I need to get more blood test done to see if I have ‘The’ antibodies, the ones that will make giving birth to a healthy normal baby 75% less likely.

So here I am today… knowing that your first pregnancy would not be effected by the antibodies, knowing that I aborted it, knowing now that there is a very high chance I will have one miscarage after the other. But not knowing for another 6weeks weather I have the antibodies or not… not until my body gets back to normal after this pregnancy wil they be able to find out.

So, heres hoping I dont, but if I do, heres hoping Mr. Right is in the 19% of Australians who have a negative blood type.

Having a abortion is hard enough to go through for any women, but knowing that that may have been your only chance to a healthy baby, Im not letting it show to friends, but its killing me inside.