I had an abortion not over a week ago. That was the biggest regret of my life.

I had my heart set on keeping my baby. Just to hold my baby and play with my baby and most important, to love my baby. That’s all I had asked for. When I found out I was pregnant, it was a shock to me. But I knew what I wanted to do – keep it. My boyfriend didn’t agree with this. He wanted to keep it but he said it weren’t the best choice to make. It would ruin our lives, and we couldn’t be together. It was a choice of my baby or my boyfriend. I love both of them. I regret having an abortion.

When I was little, I would always dream of having my own baby. Someone that would look at me and say “that’s my mummy.” Someone I could love. I didn’t know it would affect me this much. I absolutely hate what I did. I was 8 weeks pregnant when I had an abortion. I know the due date of my baby as well. I don’t know how I’m gonna get through this. It’s like nobody understands. They say they do, but if they haven’t been through an abortion, then they wouldn’t. I get bad dreams when I go sleep, even looking at my teddies hurt me. My boyfriend bought me a teddy on the day of the abortion, on the teddy’s paws it says “baby girl.” Looking at the teddy reminds me of my abortion and my baby. I wish i could turn back time. I shouldn’t have listened to anybody because now I’m suffering for what others wanted me to do.

I want my baby back.