Dear Becky,
Your website was a blessing to me! I am 171/2 years old. I thought that I had met the perfect guy for me, we were highschool sweethearts and really did love one another. I had always said that I would wait until I was married before becoming intimate, but once we got engaged towards the middle-end of my senior year, I let my guard down. When I thought I was pregnant in Dec. of 2001(when we first had, had sex) I feared that I might be pregnant. Going to a Christian school, I would be kicked out, and I didn’t know what I would do if that happened, not to mention what my parents would do to me.
My boyfriend was scared for about 30seconds and then got all excited! He wanted to find out right away if I was and he said that he would be there for me, and our parents would have to understand. I felt so secure and relieved!
Turns out I wasn’t, even though one test said I was . I don’t know what happened in my mind, but after we started becoming intimate I got really jealous a lot for no reason. It was the start of a long road of problems. His mother said he was too young to be married regardless of the fact that she was 17 when she was married and still in highschool. (We were going to be married on Sep. 7, 2002.)
The day of graduating together, that I had so much looked forward to, ended up being one of the worst days of my life. We were basically broken up, but I feared once more that I was pregnant. I wouldn’t admit it even to myself because of the problems we had been having. It wasn’t until we talked and he said that I should move on that I knew I had to find out for sure if I was pregnant and tell him for sure.
That same day of talking with him (which was on his 18th birthday) I called the local Crisis Center and went for my pregnancy test. Sure enough I was approx. 4 and a half months pregnant. Today is Aug. 14, 2002 and I am exactly 26weeks pregnant.
He has nothing to do with me now, and hasn’t since that day. I can’t describe how that feels, but I want to be there to warn other girls to wait until marriage, not even engagement to lose your virginity! If I could have it back I would.
I am, however, looking forward to raising my son that I know was created out of love. I will always dream of the day that my life gets better! Right now I fear I am losing my child due to my uncontrollable emotions that don’t allow me to sleep or eat, only cry and vomit for the most part, and have miserable headaches. What can I do? Becky, where was the man that got you pregnant? Did I miss that?
Becky
Becky A. | abercrombie_chick_01@hotmail.com
Dear Becky,
Things haven’t been easy for you, but good for you for standing up and choosing what is right. Yes, it is emotionally and physically draining to carry a baby for nine months and then deliver it into the world, but it is so worth it. Look at the bigger picture. You are giving this new little soul a chance to live and grow. You are doing something very important. You are giving him a chance to live a full and happy life.
You are so right, though…it is so much better to wait until marriage to be sexually intimate with someone. You really do give a piece of yourself to that person you are intimate with…a piece of you that you never seem to get back.
I was fortunate in that my boyfriend and I got married. We were planning to after we both graduated from university, but after I found out I was pregnant, we decided to get married sooner. We wanted to bring our baby into a family. I was fortunate that he didn’t just take off, because many guys do.
I would love to hear how you are doing now. Please keep in touch.
