pro-choice what now?

There are times I go back and forth. I am going through so much right now.

I got married on a whim a few months ago. He already has 2 kids from 2 different mothers. I found out today that my husband has been with another female. I have been in legal trouble because of him and it is still not over with. Due to this, I am not able to have contact with him. He does not know and thoughts run through my head. Does he even need to know if I go the abortion route? I found out 3 days ago and I have to be around 6-12 weeks so if I’m going to make a decision, I need to make one quick.

I am so emotionally confused with everything. I would not be able to go through with an adoption and it just seems impossible to even think about doing this on my own. I have been blessed to have my sister to talk to but as soon as I decide on abortion, it seems like later I am not so sure. I want to throw my hands in the air, scream, and pretend this is not happening to me. I find this a blessing yet a complete disaster. I almost positive I am going to get an annulment if I can and when I can. I have a lot on my plate right now. By the grace of God, I have been completely sober through this and plan to be, whether I have an abortion or not. I don’t have any friends to really speak to. All of them drink or do drugs, which I have made a choice to walk away from that life. I am done running and being a kid about my life. I feel like wow, as soon as I made this choice, God puts this in my path. It’s not easy and I can’t help but feel like there is a reason why I am pregnant now. It’s not about my husband b/c either he will be there or won’t. It’s about me and what can I handle. I am pro-choice now that it’s in my hands. I feel like I am on a swing set, going back and forth. All I want to do is jump off.

If you have any advice, please I am open to it and I need all the feedback I can get.