Was it a mistake?

I’m a 17 year old girl…just about to finish High school. I’ve been with my boy friend for a year and 3 months now…We love each other dearly and do wish to be together for many years to come. In the community where I come from, sex before marriage is a big NO NO!! Girls who do that are labeled and teenage pregnancy is an utter disgrace, especially in the eyes of religious people.

My dream from 7th grade was to study Law and become a successful lawyer, and now that I’m so close to that dream everything seems to be vanishing slowly. A few months ago, my boyfriend and I had intercourse. However, the next day, I took the emergency contraception pill ” morning after” and I didn’t land up pregnant…I don’t know if anyone would understand. But once you have sex, it’s inevitable that it’ll happen again. I could not go on the normal birth control pill, due to my parents. If they knew, I think I’d be dead! So we abstained until last week… We had sex and I think I might have been ovulating at the time so I’m assuming that I could be pregnant…

I was doing research on abortion and I came across this site… And after reading all these amazing stories, I’ve realized how selfish I am to even think of aborting. In order for me to go and study further, I cannot have a baby. My father would never pay for my studies and this is why I thought that I won’t have anything to give my child. How would I survive? And now, its like my mind set changed because deep down, I know that if I do happen to be pregnant, its what God wanted to happen… It may seem all tough and hard now but as time goes by, somewhere down the line, things WILL be okay…

My biggest fear is my boyfriend… He comes from a very respected family and I don’t think ANY one in his family made a girl pregnant before marriage or got pregnant before marriage and I don’t want to make history in his family! I’m having thoughts of maybe ending what I have with him so that he can have a better life and that he can study and become successful. I love him dearly and I don’t know how and what I will do without him, but I won’t be able to survive knowing that its coz of me that his dreams are shattered! We’ve spoken about me being pregnant on several occasions and he wants to be there for me through every step but I know that its gonna be hard for him. Its just a feeling I cannot explain as to why I want to cut him out.

What I did was wrong! I should have waited till the time was right and I just want all the young girls out there to know that you should think twice before making a decision… I don’t think me and my boyfriend were thinking at the time when we first had sex. I now know and believe that there’s a time and place for everything and I feel that I rushed into things too quick…

I have finals coming up…so if I’m pregnant, by the time I give birth, I would already have a high school certificate and can find a small job to support the baby and I… God will never put a situation on your shoulders if he knows you cannot handle it. I now know that if I am pregnant, no matter who tells me what and how many people talk and label me, I WILL FIGHT and I wont give up because I know that things happen for a reason…

Abortion is not the way out and I hope that many readers will realize that…

The mistake was falling pregnant, don’t make another mistake by killing your child! Children are blessings and I think once they’re there, one forgets of all the hardships they had to go through!