To Good to be TRUE!!….

Words are hard to express and Emotion are hard to feel!..

I have a 2-year-old baby girl, she’s my life… She gives me joy in the mornings and evenings and even with her cries at night… I love hearing the Word Mommy every sec.

I myself have experienced the life of a single mother with a child and no father around to look up to as a role model but that doesn’t affect me in any way… Even till now, he’s not part of my child’s life for which I don’t want him to be… I feel like he’s going to ruin everything for my baby, for someone I worked hard and working hard to protect… I suffered some much with him throughout my pregnancy… But now that’s in my past… Yeah, I will admit I “thought He was my senior sweetheart” of 1 year… And now I am happy with my baby and my career… That’s what I am thinking now.

But the real Facts are that I MIGHT BE PREGNANT AGAIN… For the 2nd time…

First: I had the baby with so many obstacles in life and not knowing if she was going to make it or not… She here!!…

Second: Father bailed out on 5 month baby..

Third: ENDING STORY AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER NOT… Met a wonderful person with great personality and strength to live life to the fullest and am grateful to have him. He accepted me and my daughter without judgement and remorse. (doubts) He’s been my friend for the past 4 years now… WE had the courage to become more then just friends. Now he’s my boyfriend, we been together for awhile and am sure he’s not ready for a REAL FULL SIZE RELATIONSHIP which I don’t mind.. I’m scared cuz I’m having feeling of PREGNANCY..  for which am not ready and never the less, he’s not ready either….

This is the part where I don’t understand “Why Me Again”..  I don’t want to leave another baby without a father or for the father to bail out… He’s great, my baby loves him, and we are prefect but one more, I can’t handle that yet.. And he has told me that he’s not ready… I need help.. First thing that comes in mind is to get rid of it.. Thinking straight, I have no clue what to do… I feel sick to my stomach, gaining weight, breast tender, go to the bathroom a lot, mood change, headaches, baby cries a lot and only wants me to hug her, craving for food, and other weird symptoms. Could this really be a Pregnancy…? I have gone to the clinic. The Nurse tell me to wait till I miss my period and still wait one more week after that.. I can’t. I feel that day by day, I am changing and gaining weight… This is too good to be True…