StandUpGirl girl holding phone leaning on locker


Why do women sext more than men?  And why are women more willing to expose their bodies than men are?  It seems really unfair to be the one that puts your body on full view when men don’t have to.  Compared to men, women have an inordinate amount of pressure placed on them to send sexy pictures of themselves.  But even though this is an unfair double standard, is it really that bad?

The truth of the matter is, your body and soul are connected.  What you do with your body affects your soul.  If you expose your body, you expose your soul.  And emotional wounds scar much more deeply than physical wounds.  Think about the lengths with which we go to protect our bodies.  We wear seat belts, helmets, and some even arm themselves with guns.  We need to protect our souls to the same degree that we protect our bodies from physical harm.

When you sext you are using your body as a means to get what you want—attention or sex from men.  Our bodies are not meant as tools to get us what we want; they are a lot more valuable than a mere means to get things.  Our bodies are good in and of themselves, just as your soul is valuable in and of itself.  Think about a dollar bill.  It can get ripped, crinkled, and even go through the washing machine, but even through all that, it still holds its value.  Your body is similar.  It’s not important for what it gets you, but it is important for its value.

The thing is, after you send a sext of yourself, it’s out there and you can’t get it back.  The guy you send it to can do anything he wants with that pic.  He can forward it too all of his friends and post it on the internet.  He can even use it to make fun of you.  Yes, he may have sex with you, but is the risk of exposing yourself worth it?

 Some may feel that as long as you are exclusively dating the person you are sexting he is, therefore, trustworthy, but what about after you break up?  What prevents him from showing that pic to anyone in the world?  What stops him from putting it on the internet?  Even if you don’t think he would do such a thing, remember that so many women have had men they trusted do this to them. 

More importantly, depending on where you live and the laws in your state, province, or district your sext could be child porn, even if the picture is of yourself and you’re the one who sent it.  Different regions have different laws for prosecution of those distributing child porn, and being caught could be a crime depending on where you live.

And finally, if you’re feeling pressured to sext your boyfriend, you don’t have to do it.  Real love does not apply pressure to get what it wants.  Real love strives to make the other person happy.  If your boyfriend is only looking out for himself and his interests, you will never be happy because the relationship will always be about him.  Find someone who wants the best for you and who sees the value in your body and soul.

So before you sext, ask yourself: Why I am sending this picture?  What do I gain from sending it?  What do I lose from sending it?