I’m scared. And alone.

Nathan (baby’s father, football player, my (sorta) ex, whatever you want to call him) found out about me being pregnant, well i told him. Over the past few months we’d really begun to be good together, and this just all crumbled. I guess I was stupid to think that a smart, good looking football player would just give up his life and dreams of scholarships and college to stay with me and raise a baby, heck, maybe i just wished a little too hard he might just be like Nathan Scott on One Tree Hill. Nope. Sucks right? I still like him, I think I love him, and I want this to work, I want my baby to have a dad, unlike me, I want them to have everything, a mom and dad who love each other, a home, everything else they should have.

I’m beginning to feel lost without Nathan. I try and tell myself that I don’t need him, he’s  a waste of space, but he genuinely isn’t. I think he’s just confused or whatever, I hope he comes around. He didn’t say ‘get an abortion’ or ‘it’s not mine’ ; he just said ‘i cant deal with this now ‘ and walked away from me. I hope he turns around and walks back.