Hey, I’m 17, and 4 weeks along. My boyfriend has hated this child with a passion for since he pulled out and saw the condom broke. “It’s not even a child yet” or “How can you do this to me?!” is all I hear.  I know somewhere inside him, he knows it’s wrong. I just don’t know what to do; I can’t go into that room. I can’t kill my baby. I’m his or her’s mother, I’m supposed to protect my baby! Don’t get me wrong. He is the nicest man I know, just, money means a lot to him. He wants a well-paying, job and is scared we will have our child growing up in the “ghetto.” I told him that a child isn’t a curse, that it’s a blessing no matter what. Yes having a baby at 17 will make things a lot harder. But I believe it’s worth it.

Little bit of background information: We are a mixed couple, he is black and I am white.  His parents are from Jamaica and don’t trust whites that much. Which I understand, there is a lot of racism. Anyways, today I told him I really wanted to keep our baby, that I couldn’t handle going to the doctor’s.  He said that he would tell his mother and father that I lied to him, that I’m some crazy white girl just wanting a mixed baby. The thing is, I know they would believe that. And it hurts because I’m all alone. He told his sister and she said to keep it, then told her I wasn’t a few days later. No one will know the truth, my baby will grow up hated. I don’t know what to do. I am an adopted child, my mother gave me the chance to live! How can I turn this child’s chance down, when my mother was 13? I will never be able to live with myself.

The Abortion is for this coming Friday. It’s the only day I have time. I feel like running far away. I’m already starting to wonder why, why I have to live. Live to be a murder! I hate myself, and I haven’t done it yet. But if I don’t, I’ll be alone in the world. He will not be here, his family will hate me. My parents will believe the story. I’m stuck.

Please if you can help me, please help me.