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Anonymous
Hello everyone 🙂 I’m sure some of you know me somehow cause it feels like I’ve been on this site forever now, in a good way 🙂
I just need your advice on how to talk to my friend. She was talking to me the other day about children and families, normal stuff really. Then she started saying how she wants to have a kid and that she was going to go off her birth control and “surprise” her boyfriend. They haven’t really been dating for that long, about a month or two so I feel kind of bad for knowing about something that could effect him this much.
So what should I say to my friend? Is it just a phase that’ll pass or should I warn her boyfriend of what she’s considering to do?
I just need some advice because I am so hopelessly confused with this whole situation right now so any comments and advice will be greatly appreciated 🙂
christyrose
I would talk to her and be honest with how you feel. Even if she chooses not to listen to you, at least you were a voice of reason to her. I would bring up that a good relationship is built on honesty. A kid is a big change and while you may have a surprise pregnancy, its much easier and less stressful if both of you are planning for it.
renee
yes, I’d try and discuss it with your friend. Maybe writing out a list of all your concerns for her, her boyfriend, child, family….and also affirm her as a person and friend. Deep down you want what is best for her and because you truly love her, you are willing to talk with her and have this uncomfortable conversation and tell her some truthful but hard things. You need truth and love to help your friend. I’m so proud that you care and that you are seeking to help. My prayers are with you and your friend.
Thank you, both of you, for replying! I was scared that no one was going to and I’d be stuck in the same place that I was in the beginning :S
I have talked to her about it and she agrees with me {for the most part} about it not being a good time and that all good things come with time. She knows that it’s not going to be the end of the world if she has a baby now, that she has plenty of time for all of that but she didn’t explain WHY she wants one now which still has me confused. But if she won’t tell me now then I won’t push it, maybe she’ll tell me later 🙂
I’m just glad that she seems to have come to the same conclusion as me without much convincing. Right now she’s still on the pill and using condoms occasionally, hopefully that’ll continue until she talks to her boyfriend at least 🙂
Crisis averted.
That was really courageous and caring of you to seek help and to bring up the hard topics. Glad it worked out and keep loving her!
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