Pregnant Christian

Hey there, I saw your post and it made me reflect on my past…see I was a pregnant Christian as well. I was already a single mom and I was everyone’s “victory child” I was the lost sinner that turned to the Lord and I was the well known answer to everyone’s prayers. I had been attending church on a regular every time the door was open basis, I was getting involved in the small group bible studies and I was learning and growing so much. I ended up running into a guy I had been with before I was saved and it didn’t feel wrong or bad to sleep with him, after all we had already been together like that so it wasn’t like I was sleeping with some random person. One night I was at church and a man got up and started praying and leading us in worship and I felt like a ton of bricks fell on me, I felt the Lord tell me that I needed to quit looking for a guy/settling for a guy who may someday decide to go to church with me but decide to wait and save myself for the kind of guy who I was hearing in that moment, someone who loved Him and would go to church without me. It was just a couple of weeks later that I found out I was pregnant and I felt like I was hopeless, no one would ever want to be with me now, I had two kids from two dads. One day at church a woman came up to me all excited and asked me when I got married, I looked at her confused thinking she mistook me from behind for someone else, I told her, I didn’t get married, then she looked at me turned red and said, I am so sorry, I thought you were pregnant….I looked at her and said, I am…it was embarrassing and I wanted to run and hide and cry but I didn’t, I stood strong in the Lord, knowing that I had done wrong but that I was forgiven, God gave me children when He could have allowed me to get AIDS…children are a blessing not a punishment and rather than feeling like a total failure and let down I had to soberly choose to see myself as blessed rather than cursed and trust that the Lord was going to carry me through….were my friends disappointed in me, yeah, did they still love me, yes, no one could have made me feel more convicted than I made myself feel, I made the choice to not have sex again until I was married and I didn’t, I spent my time as a single mom taking in studies and learning more about the kind of Christian I wanted to be, not a judgmental, holier than thou, hypocrite, but the kind of Christian who knows what it is like to stumble and sin and repent and learn from it and use my errors to help others grow and hopefully choose the better route than I had for so long, you are at a fork in the road, you can live in defeat and shame or you can cling to the One who has already forgiven you, Who has already bought your sin and Who wants you to Stand Up for Him and be proud of who you are in Him, so you messed up, we all have, just hang in there and walk this out, there will be some hard times, some ups and downs but if God is for you who can be against you? I am here for you anytime you need a sister to talk to and just to leave you with a little encouragement, the man I mentioned who was praying and singing when I was praying and wanting to change my life…he is now my husband!! Hang in there…Love Meg