We didn’t plan on having sex until we were married. Well, one night things all changed, and we did end up having sex, the first time, and I got pregnant. What a shock huh? Well, it was for me, being only 16 and still in school, and pregnant.

Dear Becky — I am now a 17-year-old mother of a 4 1/2-month-old son. His name is Jasadrian, and he was 7 lbs 10.1 oz 20 ¼ in.

I had my head on straight, had plans for the future, and college all worked out for me. Then I fell in love, and things all changed. My ex-boyfriend/father of our son is now not in my or our son’s life. Here is the story…

We didn’t plan on having sex until we were married. Well, one night things all changed, and we did end up having sex, the first time, and I got pregnant. What a shock huh? Well, it was for me, being only 16 and still in school, and pregnant. The time me and my boyfriend did have sex, like two weeks after that, we were both laying in my bed, just laying in each other’s arms, then I turned to him, and told him I had to tell him something, I turned away from him and I just started crying and he’s like “I know what it is”, and I couldn’t tell him still. I was such a mess. He asked me if I knew for sure and I said NO. A few days after that, and I got an EPT test. I didn’t tell my boyfriend because I wasn’t ready to take it yet, I already knew.

I did end up taking it. Me and my boyfriend were sleeping, and it was somewhere between 2-3 in the morning. I went to the bathroom and took it. It was the longest time ever it seemed like waiting for the results. After I had seen it, I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. I just kept looking at the little stick in my hand that had two pink lines. Finally, the shock wore off enough for me to move and go back to my room. I woke Alex up, and told him, ” Alex, I just took the test”. And he’s like what did it say, I was like go see for yourself, and he’s said, no tell me…I was like, ” I AM.” He’s like “Okay, things are going to be fine ” he went back to sleep, and I just laid there, and like this isn’t, and can’t be happening!!! The next morning, he woke up and went to the bathroom, and when he did I heard him pick up the test. I had left it out for him to see for himself. When he came out, I asked him if he had seen two pink lines too, and he said yes. He just came and held me and told me everything was going to be okay (at that time I was 16, he was 21). He told me he would always be there for me and his baby, and he made me feel like things were going to be okay! He told me that he was going to Florida for a few weeks, and I said that it was okay! But for him to come back. He told me he would. Well, the night before he left, I told him that I didn’t want him to go, and we got in a big fight. He told me that he was. He left my house and went and stayed at a friend’s.

Well, the next day (Father’s Day), I had to watch my cousin while my aunt and uncle went out. I called him over and over, then he finally talked to me. I told him happy Father’s Day, and he’s like what does that mean, I should go tell my dad happy Fathers Day. I said NO IT’S FOR YOUR KID! We didn’t talk for long because we ended up fighting again (and our first fight ever) then I asked him if he was going to see me before he left, and tell me goodbye, and he said “Maybe!”

Well, he never came and I never got to say goodbye to him. I didn’t have a # or a address of where he was going, so I couldn’t contact him, I had to wait for him to do that. He called me like 2 months or so after he had left. I just cried the whole time, and kept telling him I loved him. He told me he wanted to be there for the baby, and I kept telling him to come home. Finally the time came when he was about to be due, Alex showed up in November.

Well I was suppose to go for a ultrasound the 16th of December. On our way, A drunk driver hit our car. It killed Alex instantly. I was rushed to the hospital. They had to take my son, or I would of lost him too! So that was the saddest and the happiest day of my life. I lost my boyfriend, and gave birth to our son! Everyday I miss him, and keep thinking of him! It has been hard on me, because I am still in HS. Only 3 more weeks left and then I will graduate. I was kicked out of my house when my mom found out I was pregnant, (everyone wanted me to get an abortion). I thought about it for 1/2 a second, and knew that I could never do that and live with myself. And then Alex left me. So I had to get a job to support myself, and still go to school.

Well now, I am a full time mommy, student, and am working. Things are good now, because I have a perfect gift from God, my baby boy that looks just like his daddy! Each and everyday, I am thankful that I have him. He has made me a stronger woman, and made me respect that everyday we live, we should be thankful for. I want you and everyone to know, that I LOVE MY SON, and he is the world to me.

To you girls out there that think abortion is right. It’s not. Once that baby has a heart beat, you do not have the right to take it away EVER! YOU GIVE LIFE, AND GOD TAKES IT AWAY! Not you! But just to kill that living baby is not right, you would regret it, I’m sure, but it might be hard for you to accept and handle it. Trust me, I did it all on my own, (and still am) but I am thankful that God gave me my son. I’m sure if you think about it, you would rather give a life to a child, then to take it away! So if you are considering an abortion, please think about that poor innocent baby that is inside you, who didn’t do A THING! you brought him/her in this world, he/she didn’t ask to be. It was your decision!

Thanks for your time,

Ashley

Dearest Ashley — My name is Lisa and I help Becky at the Stand Up Girl website with some of her e-mail.

Wow! When I read your story, I felt like I was there watching the whole thing happen and my heart so broke for you. I am so sorry you have been through all you have been through, but you have a beautiful baby boy to remember and carry on his fathers memory.

Ashley – you truly are a Stand Up Girl.

I should tell you too, that a baby’s heartbeat can begin within the first week! Did you know that? So … upon conception your baby was alive and a human being, even though he had no form, he was alive. Isn’t that amazing?

Ashley – I am very glad that you have your precious baby boy and I am so proud of you … being a Stand Up Girl. Keep it up my friend.

Luv Lisa