What should I do..??

Well here goes my story, hopefully its useful to many. I was always a girl with straight A’s and a mind like no one elses. I was very mature and outspoken for as long as I can remember.A girl with so many dreams and so many goals that she’d never thought would even come close to throwing away. One day, my grandfather died I was but a mere child and experiencing the devestation of loss…Thats when everything changed.
Suddenly life hit me, I knew then that life isnt as beautiful as it all seems. I always thought that I’d marry the guy of my dreams, and have kids and be respected and loved and so on. I suddenly realized that life wasnt going to treat me any different than anyone else and I’d have to struggle to get where I always dreamt to be.Grades dropped and so did I. I was no longer that little girl who although was mature didnt know what life was all about. I became suicidal, wanting to end it all, end everything that seemed hard, because life suddenly did not make any sense to me. I was but 11 when I went through what I call, "this stage"…

So I stood up one day and let it all out…I cried for hours, threw out all the blades and walked in the rain and I made it…I thank God I grew out of that and learned that God wouldnt let me go through something I just couldnt bear.
However, i never forgot i just learned to let it all go..

Two years later, I met Raymond…He helped me out through many hard times and became not only my boyfriend but my bestfriend.i couldnt hide from him he was different… I gave him my all, and altough I dont regret it I do think it was a mistake.
Im but 13 now, I know many things and have much to still learn…but dont we all. In my opinion giving someone your all is meant to be when your married and when your ready..Im Not ready.
"I might be pregnant"
I told Raymond. And this is when my world started crashing down all over again…
The one person I thought was going to be there through thick and thin is suddenly drifting away.

What do i do… I cant come up with the answer, all i can do is sit here and wait find out the answer and learn once more and get over just another stage…

Looking within myself, I said "Im ready to face whatever comes upon me, cause I know I’ll make it through"

To all the girls out there, you can do it…Believe in yourself…
Many have put me down and I guess its all for a reason…whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger, I wont have an abortion but i’ve learned that if Im willing to keep what god has given me that someone else can not have, I am blessed and I will get through this and I will have that baby and i will not be put down…I can make it…

Look within youself and tell yourself you can too!

No matter how young, how inexperienced you can make it…Just believe…

Hopefully this has made a difference…Need anyone to talk 2..Im here..