HOME › Hot Topics › Girl Zone › Pregnancy Questions and Symptoms › Confused and being pressured
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December 18, 2006 at 4:07 pm #14015princess Angela
Hey everyone,
Im Angela im 17 and 11 weeks pregnant. I Don’t know what to do i love my baby more then anything. My mum knows im pregnant but not my dad as yet my mum said she doesnt think i am ready to look after a baby but will support the decision i choose but then there is my bf he wants me to have an abortion he is scared he has booked the abortion for tomorrow Tuesday the 19th i cried so much when he told me i am struggling to know what is right from wrong when everyone is saying get rid of it. I dont wanna hurt people with my decision but im falling so quick im suffering from something that hasnt happened yet. How do you know whats right? How can you keep everyone happy? Why cant he understand what his doing to me? he keeps telling me his proud of me but how can he be proud of me. i feel horrible about even thinkin about an abortion but i dont know if im ready for a kid. How do i make the right decision in less then 24 hours:(Please help me
Love angelaDecember 18, 2006 at 9:41 pm #14018AnonymousHi there, i really feel for u. Im in a simialar situation. Im 9wks 3days pregnant. My dad and stepmum are supporting my decision to keep the baby but my mum who lives abroad isnt. She is totally against me keeping the baby, even going as far as telling my friends to convince me to abort the baby. She has only just started speaking to me again but even now she doesnt mention the pregnancy or baby.The dad doesnt even know, he wont be supporting me, he moved away a few months ago and i have no contact details for him. Its tough. You have to decide what u feel is right, because if u have an abortion just to please other ppl, u will resent these ppl for the rest of ur life and it will bring u great unhappiness and regret for a long time. Its a difficult decision, believe me i know, but for me, i just knew i cudnt go through with an abortion and wen i went for an early scan and saw the little heartbeat, i knew i wanted to keep it. Nobody will be disappointed in u, if u decide to keep it, im sure they will understand and in 6months time wen a beautiful baby is here, they will all want to be the first to hold he/she. But saying that, if u dont think its the path u want to take just yet, then dont feel bad, u have to do whats right for u. No one else. Please let me know how u get on. xxx
December 18, 2006 at 11:32 pm #14019RnayHi Angela,
I read your forum, and i guess i don’t really know what to say. But id like to offer you support, as i know what your going through right now. I’d like to tell you a bit about myself i have three children my youngest is 7months, and i love them all sooo much and couldn’t imagine life without them. But im pregnant again and im booked in for an abortion on the 20th Dec in two days, im so confused and sufferring like you i don’t know what to do this is the hardest thing i have ever faced in my life. But my partner doesn’t want another and i don’t think im ready. But how do you choose between life and death? So im going through hell at the moment and can imagine that you feel the same. If you want to talk some more send me a messageDecember 18, 2006 at 11:39 pm #14020AnonymousDont get an abortion please let your son live, i was pregnant at 15 an alone, my bf left us, and i tried to hurt my baby inside of me, but i didnt do it and now she is the joy of my life, all my heart is to her, your baby is going to be with yo all the time:) think about it.
December 19, 2006 at 12:55 am #14021kieffer23Well hun
The only way you know whats right is what your heart is telling you. You said you loved the child already, it sound to me like you have already decided to keep it in your heart and your brain and everybody elses brain is getting in the way. Just tell them i’m keeping my baby and theres nothing you can do about it. It will be hard no doubt about that, but what in life is actually easy. Storngly think about what you are doing before you do something you regret.
Keep posted on your decion.December 19, 2006 at 2:56 am #14026AnonymousDONT DO IT! dont get me wrong im not anti abortion and at the end of the day its your decision, but the impression i get from your post is that you really really dont want to go through with it, you are only even thinking about it because everyones telling you to, its not there decision to make its yours and yours alone! dont let anyone pressure you into getting rid of your baby only for you to regret it every day for the rest of your life!
goodluck in YOUR decision xxDecember 19, 2006 at 5:58 am #14030AnonymousThis is just my opinion, but I do not think that you should have to get an abortion if you don’t want to. Your boyfriend does not have the final say in this. Yes, he should have a say in it but he is not the one carrying the baby. In fact, really no one has the FINAL say in this because no one really is carrying YOUR baby! If you love your baby already why get an abortion? If your mother does not think that you are ready to have and raise a child there is always the option of adoption. Adoption is not abandoning your child. It is giving your child life and most likely a better one. I am not at all saying that you will make a horrible mother, but from the way it sounds, your boyfriend is not proud of you at all and your baby won’t have a mother and father. He will not be there for you if this baby is carried to term. He may surprise everyone and actually be there, but I think that’s a slim chance. I am not trying to make you choose between anything or anyone but I simply am saying this. The baby did not do anything to deserve to die. You and your boyfriend played and now it’s time to pay, with a human life. You can get an abortion and have heartache, and it sounds like you already don’t like that idea, you can carry this baby to term, raise this child and possibly have your boyfriend leave you, most likely for the better, or you can carry this baby to term, and put him/her up for adoption and probably keep contact through-out the child’s life. These are your choices. If you don’t want an abortion and your boyfriend does, you don’t have to go through with it. He is not, no one is carrying your baby! Remember that when you make your choice!
I don’t know you but I hope that you make the choice you and only you feel is right. Take care of yourself, your baby, and keep hope alive!
-JacquelynDecember 19, 2006 at 6:07 am #14032Mommyof2babiesif you question what you should do then you shouldnt have an abortion. there are other options such as adoption..if you dont think you can raise a baby then plz choose adoption..give a loving couple that cant have children the chance to raise yours..and if you want contact w the child do an open adoption..just dont go to the appt and murder your living breathing child!!
December 19, 2006 at 6:43 am #14035Rose RevivalThis is just my opinion, but I do not think that you should have to get an abortion if you don’t want to. Your boyfriend does not have the final say in this. Yes, he should have a say in it but he is not the one carrying the baby. In fact, really no one has the FINAL say in this because no one really is carrying YOUR baby! If you love your baby already why get an abortion? If your mother does not think that you are ready to have and raise a child there is always the option of adoption. Adoption is not abandoning your child. It is giving your child life and most likely a better one. I am not at all saying that you will make a horrible mother, but from the way it sounds, your boyfriend is not proud of you at all and your baby won’t have a mother and father. He will not be there for you if this baby is carried to term. He may surprise everyone and actually be there, but I think that’s a slim chance. I am not trying to make you choose between anything or anyone but I simply am saying this. The baby did not do anything to deserve to die. You and your boyfriend played and now it’s time to pay, with a human life. You can get an abortion and have heartache, and it sounds like you already don’t like that idea, you can carry this baby to term, raise this child and possibly have your boyfriend leave you, most likely for the better, or you can carry this baby to term, and put him/her up for adoption and probably keep contact through-out the child’s life. These are your choices. If you don’t want an abortion and your boyfriend does, you don’t have to go through with it. He is not, no one is carrying your baby! Remember that when you make your choice!
I don’t know you but I hope that you make the choice you and only you feel is right. Take care of yourself, your baby, and keep hope alive!
-JacquelynDecember 19, 2006 at 7:18 am #14045YashiraTHERE ARE OPEN ADOPTIONS WHERE U CAN GIVE UR CHILD A PLACE TO LIVE AND GET CARED FOR BUT PLS DONT MAKE THE MISTAKE IN HAVING AN ABORTION I HAVE READ STORIES ON THIS SITE THAT REALLY TOUCH PEOPLES HEARTS I HAVENT HAD AN ABORTION BUT DONT PLAN ON IT EITHER ITS JUST PLAIN WRONG TO KILL AN INNOCENT BABY THEY SHOULD GET A CHANCE TO LIVE TOO….IF UR BEING PRESSURED AND DONT THINK U CAN CARE FOR A BABY I THINK U CAN AND UR NOT THE ONLY ONE GOING THROUGH THIS THERE ALOT OF GIRL ON THIS SITE THAT ARE GOING THROUGH THIS OR HAVE GONE THROUGH AN ABORTION AND IT HURTS ALOT FROM WHAT IVE READ….IM ASKING U TO PLS READ SOME STORIES THAT ARE ON THIS SITE AND REALLY THINK ABOUT DOING IT…BECAUSE ONCE U HAVE THAT PRECIOUS BABY IN UR HANDS UR GONNA THINK TO UR SELF HOW COULD U HAVE KILLED UR BABY…..IF U NEED ANYONE TO TALK TO IM HERE U CAN ALWAYS WRITE TO ME OR OTHER GIRLS THAT ARE GOING THROUGH THIS TOO…..
December 19, 2006 at 8:29 am #14052MathildaAngela…I read your story..and it really made me think of me. I am 6 weeks pregnant and feel exactly the same way as you. Everyone seems to be saying to have an abortion…its hard…I already love this baby same as you. Its just different for the people who arent carrying it…I dont know what I will do either…its a hard decision and i know that either choice seems impossible right now. I feel like I dont want to abort it…because it feels wrong and at the same time am I ready to be a mother right now??? its very hard…I just wanted to let you know I know how you are feeling and you arent alone…it seems like no one understands…but just know this….you cant take back abortion..and if you are determined enough you can do all the things you wanted to do with a baby too…it wont be easy…but you can do it!
December 19, 2006 at 12:30 pm #14059angel_gal84please dont have an abortion
it will be the worst thing that you will ever do trust me i know i had one just over two months ago and im still living with the pain, something that you dont have to go through, please think about it really hard.keep us up to date
love lisaxxxx
December 19, 2006 at 8:38 pm #14068princess AngelaThank you to everyone who posted back to me but by the time i had read all of these msges it was too late i went to the clinic cause i thought that if i got there and spoke about it that i could say no well it got to the ultrasound and by the time they had finished the ultrasound i was already under and i didnt get a chance to say no and god do i hate myself i love my kid and i cant get my baby back now and its killing me. my bf ended up in tears for forcin me to go there.
i wish there was some way to get my baby back. Every girl in my position god dont wait until it’s too late do not let them choose for you i made the wrong choice but by the time i went to say no i was gone. So if u dunno what to do look into your heart if u love ur child there is no qustion you should keep it. Cause all i want is my baby back.:(
love angelaDecember 23, 2006 at 11:24 am #14120mrs_melissI hope you do not do it because it is not what you really want. No one else can tell you what you need to do. Yor heart and God will tell you. I know you can have this baby and if you do , you will never regret it.
Do not let your parents or boyfriend pressure you. you will never forgive yourslef if you do.
To think a life can be thrown away becasue you are not ready is a petty reason and a wrong choice. Please don’t let them choose for you in this confusing and painful time.December 23, 2006 at 11:54 am #14125gina lynndont let him pressure you into doing something that you no in your heart is wrong. give your baby a chance at life. of course being a young mother is not easy, but you will not regret it if you keep the baby. you will, on the other hand, regret having an abortion. stand up girl, stay strong. i hope you get this messege in time. i’ll pray for you.
December 28, 2006 at 11:20 am #14170Rainagrace7Hi Angela,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss and grief. Please do yourself a favor and find a post-abortion group that you can attend to work through your feelings and grief. Try contacting a Pregnancy Resource Center or BirthRight in your area. If it helps you at all you can know that your baby is in heavan and you will have the chance to sit with and hold your baby again. It isn’t what you prefered but it is possible. Jesus has lots of room in heaven for the babies that don’t make it to birth. You can make good decisions from here on out
for yourself. I think you have experienced the consequences of letting others decide for you and found that it hurts. Do what is best for you now!December 28, 2006 at 1:50 pm #14173Anonymousi know how you are feeling. i know the feeling of just wanting to do anything to have that back with you. because now in your head you think "i should have kept it" but you cant beat yourself up.
ive been there
email me whenever
<3brie
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