Three months along & I found myself in the hospital…

I was having a m/c….  I had to have a DNC.  They said the drugs would put me out of it enough that I would know what was going on.  That I wouldn’t remember…..I wouldn’t hear, wouldn’t see.
I did hear & I did see… I do remember.
We were so sad. We wanted that baby.   My man brought home a small porcelain doll with dark hair & beautiful skin just like our baby would have had.  She sings a beautiful song, that still brings tears these many years later.

The first was the hardest, both physically & emotionally… I had another 4 after the first. I lost all of those babies at about a month along.  I couldn’t understand why.  The Doctors were looking & finding nothing.

Finally, they found an answer. Finally, they found a way that maybe I could carry a child to term.  We tried again.  I followed the instructions carefully. I made it past the first, then the second & third month…
This pregnancy hurt deep into the marrow of my bones, I felt tired & weak throughout the whole thing… But I made it through.  I carried our baby to term!
This morning, that baby picked up a porcelain doll with dark hair & beautiful skin that sits in our room.   “Is this yours, Mom?” … “Have you had her since you were little, Mom?”…

“No sweetheart, not since I was little. Your dad gave her to me.”  I wound the key on her back, & as she sang her song today, I was able to smile.
Today is a day of celebration. Today is a day of victory.