Three months along & I found myself in the hospital…. 

  I was having a m/c….  I had to have a dnc.  They said the drugs would put me out of it enough that I would know what was going on.  That I wouldn’t remember…..I wouldn’t hear, wouldn’t see.
I did hear, & I did see… I do remember.   
We were so sad, we wanted that baby.   My man brought home a small porcelain doll… dark hair, & beautiful skin just like our baby would have had.   She sings a beautiful song, that still brings tears these many years later.

The first was the hardest, both physically & emotionally…. I had another 4 after the first, I lost all of those babies at about a month along.  I couldn’t understand why.  The Dr.s were looking, & finding nothing.

 Finally they found an answer, finally they found a way that maybe I could carry a child to term.  We tried again.   I followed instructions carefully.  I made it past the first, then the second & third month… 
This pregnancy hurt deep into the marrow of my bones, I felt tired & weak though the whole thing…but I made it through.  I carried our baby to term, our baby was born February 24, 2001!
This morning, that baby picked up a porcelain doll with dark hair, & beautiful skin that sits in our room.   “Is this yours mom?” … “have you had her since you were little mom?”….
  “No sweet heart, not since I was little, your dad gave her to me”  I wound the key on her back, & as she sang her song today, I was able to smile.
Today is a day of celebration, today is a day of victory.