Three months along & I found myself in the hospital….
I was having a m/c…. I had to have a dnc. They said the drugs would put me out of it enough that I would know what was going on. That I wouldn’t remember…..I wouldn’t hear, wouldn’t see.
I did hear, & I did see… I do remember.
We were so sad, we wanted that baby. My man brought home a small porcelain doll… dark hair, & beautiful skin just like our baby would have had. She sings a beautiful song, that still brings tears these many years later.
The first was the hardest, both physically & emotionally…. I had another 4 after the first, I lost all of those babies at about a month along. I couldn’t understand why. The Dr.s were looking, & finding nothing.
Finally they found an answer, finally they found a way that maybe I could carry a child to term. We tried again. I followed instructions carefully. I made it past the first, then the second & third month…
This pregnancy hurt deep into the marrow of my bones, I felt tired & weak though the whole thing…but I made it through. I carried our baby to term, our baby was born February 24, 2001!
This morning, that baby picked up a porcelain doll with dark hair, & beautiful skin that sits in our room. “Is this yours mom?” … “have you had her since you were little mom?”….
“No sweet heart, not since I was little, your dad gave her to me” I wound the key on her back, & as she sang her song today, I was able to smile.
Today is a day of celebration, today is a day of victory.