My story.

For those of you that don’t know my story, here it is.
My name is Ashley and I got pregnant when I was 14. When my boyfriend and I found out we had no idea what to do, and of coarse the first thing that comes to mind is abortion. Yes, I am totally against abortion and adoption for this matter. I went to a health clinic with my boyfriend and discussed options, we still leaned towards abortion but I would never do it so I just kept going on like everyday as normal.
I hid my pregnancy for 7 month (I didn’t show).. I finally told my mom and she was the one that said I needed to make the decision. So I did. We decided to keep our little baby (of coarse).

I went for my first ultrasound to find out we were going to have a little baby boy (: He was due Nov. 18 2012.
I had my regular doctor appointment on November 8th 2011 , when I got there he checked my weight and such to find out that my blood pressure was way too high, so I wasn’t allowed to go to school for the rest of the day or the next day. I had an appointment scheduled for when they first opened to check my blood pressure again.
I went there is the morning and he had me lay on my side for about half an hour, he came back and checked my blood pressure and it was higher than the day before. He told us I’d be having my baby boy that day (Nov. 9th 2011). We went to the hospital and they started my IV drip of Pitocin. About an hour after my doc. came and broke my water. From the time after he broke my water I was starting to go in labour. Around 2pm I had enough and wanted something to help so I asked for some morphine in my IV.. I waited 30 mins and nothing happened and the nurses said they couldn’t believe how it did nothing.. So I asked for the gas and OMG let me tell you, it did wonders! So from that point on I was on the gas, and I guess I liked it a bit too much because I wouldn’t stop breathing it and it was making my son’s heart beat drop, so the nurse had to take it from me a few times.. Ooops. Just before I went into active labour the nurses also told us my blood pressure was so high that I could have started to have seizures. Also, the reason for all the high blood pressure was because I had preeclampsia.
Anyways time for pushing came, I pushed for 30 mins and our little boy was out (: His father cut the cord. He weighed in at 7lbs 10oz and was 19.3 inch long. He had grey eyes and dark brown hair. His name is Dallas James Loewen, he has his fathers last name.
For 2 months after I was home schooled so I wouldn’t fall behind, after that I went back for exams and I am still in school (: I am currently working on my grade 11 year. My boyfriend (FOB) is working, and while I am at school Dallas goes to his great-grandmas. (:

For my plans after school I plan on going to college to become a registered nurse and to do hair/piercings on the side (:
Dallas is now 10 months and almost walking! He has bright blue eyes and bleach blonde hair (: And he is such the little character, I love him to death.
I regret no decisions leading up to this point <3
I am here to talk to ANYONE,
Message me if you need anything <3

Ash.

Reality hits.

So i had Leo a little over 5 months ago. Before he was born me and Lee where hardly together…he wanted nothing to do with us when i found out…he then changed his mind and proposed when Leo was in the NICU. I thought everything was going perfect-it was for the first 3-4 months. This month has just been awful.

First he goes of the rails and is diagnosed with Bipolar..fair enough i can handle that. But he’s getting better he started helping with Leo again. But since ive been back at school hes changed…always out. He’ll take Leo out when im at school but as soon as im back its my job again. Even when i have a pile of homework. For the past three days ive stayed off school, simply because Lee either isnt around to watch him, or he is still sleeping and refusing to wake up.

I cant even go to my mom for advice, because now she’s in Ohio, I dont have a clue what to do. All i can think now, is if he dont buck up his ideas im leaving him and he’ll probably lose his son because i’ll be in Ohio with my mom.

Rant over.

New to this

Hey everybody. I don’t know exactly how to use this blog. But I’ll figure it out eventually. Do any of you have any tips? (LOL!!!) I’m here if anyone wants my opinion on something.

Struggling

Lately, I walk around and it feels like I’m dreaming. Nothing feels real anymore. Just in a daze that makes nothing seem like reality. I struggle every day to not think that one little thing will make it all better. Depression is scary. Everyone wonders why I act the way I do or why I am who I am. I’ve been through a lot since I was 12.  I keep to myself because I’m afraid.  The only things that keep me going are hope, love, faith, and dreams. I was young when it all started…