holding and kissing childHi, my name is Erica, I’m 27, I have two kids, 1 that is 9 and 1 that is 4 and I am pregnant now. 

My first pregnancy was weird, I was 17 and absolutley in love with my boyfriend, although, I can’t say the same for him. He stayed with me, had it not been for me and his family. He began drinking at 16 and he got way bad off after he found out I was pregnant. Not long after we both discovered this, he broke into my aunts house with two other girls and his friend whose girlfriend I stayed with during the night of the break-in. So, my family didn’t approve of him before and they sure as hell didn’t after this. My pregnany was rough, I can’t say he cheated on me during it, but I’m sure he did.

When my water broke he drove me to the hospital drunk and rather quick. After 18 hours of labor and finally the birth, he left and didn’t come back until the wee hours of the morning, said he had to go celebrate. Came back drunk and slept on a cot right next to me in the room. In the next five years that she was born, he managed to stay drunk, stay gone, and cheat on me.

3 years after K-Anna was born She was taken from us. He basically had party houses every place we moved to, and the last one finally did it, we both did something stupid to get her taken away, luckily she went to my mothers and not his, but still. It was up until then that I realized this is so freaking retarded, Why do I not have a daughter anymore? Drunker than a ****, loosing jobs here, calling in there, leaving and not calling. He even went as far as capturing me and almost making us wreck with his drunk fast driving while my baby was in the house alone. This went on for five years after we met.

The second pregnancy. I found out I was pregnant and went to pick him up, Where did you ask? At another girls house, tried to introduce me to her like we were gonna be friends or something. He was cheating on me with her also, I was taking him home and told him in tears you better be ready cause I’m having another baby. Yea, During that whole pregnancy he slept with four other girls, attempted to move in with one and stayed drunk for the whole thing. I moved out, left him in the apartment, he let everything go and begged to stay with me, There is where I found two of the greatest friends anyone could ask for. It was my house, or a duplex, and I made it into anything I wanted it to be. So the party house stopped after Kane was born, I allowed some of his closer friends to come in and kick it, but thats about it.

After one year I moved to my fathers house, which I am grateful for, and it just got worse, I started to realize what it is that we need in order to survive, what kind of family Kane needed in order to grow up decent, and it’s like nothing phased him. For years, jail time, promises, rehab, and all the faith in the world, to this day nothing has changed.

As the years rolled on after Kane, we both started getting abusive to each other, him more so walls and things, but me, it was different, he was the object of my dark black hole that I let my self get into. All that faith, promises and trust that was borken down into peices and put back up solely by me left, It was all cold and nasty. After the third year of living there, I moved yet once again, but in seperate houses. He moved in to his own house with a friend. I moved Kane and I to a nice little house farther away from him. and not even 5mths later, after don’t get with anybody, we are still together, blah, this blah that, still drinking heavily,

I’m pregnant again. I found out Oct. 10th, He was seeing some girl that he worked with, as usual. They haven’t even been talking for 30 days, I found out I’m pregnant, I wasn’t gonna let him know, in fact when I found out, he just so happened to be there so I had to tell him cause I was crying. I told him I wished it was someone elses. He said he’d stick by me for it and he would stop talking to her, Come Nov, 2 I found out he talked to her clear up until Oct.31. I love you Erica, I love you baby, blah blah blah.

Here it is, Thanksgiving, and he got drunk for 10th time on Thanksgiving, and he promised he would stop as of last weekend. See I’m not a freaking idiot, I just care, but when you take advantage of the care and love that somebody gives you you turn it dry and sour. I made him leave tonight after I discovered that he bought another 1/2 pint of crown after I told him to stop, and I didn’t just tell him, I made it clear I wasn’t having the drink around my family, my daughter was with me tongiht. So I made him walk to either his house, his moms house or the b**ch down the road that he walked to the other night after being so drunk off the drink that he basically threw himself on her. I kicked him, I punched him in his chest I called him a peice of sh*t, I told him why take a drink backward than not take one and go forward.

WHAT HAVE I DONE?

I might have twins and he’s promising me a wedding, thats right we aren’t married, and he’s promising a family, alife, everything, of course he is, but I want it so bad and he makes it sound so realt, like he can actually provide me with this.

What do I do??????????

 

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