Dear Becky Archives

We Just Got Caught

StandUpGirl little girl looks from behind flowers

It was the last day of school my freshman year of high school. My mom was a teacher so we had the whole house to ourselves for half of the day. My boyfriend and I had been together since the 8th grade and had always had it bad for each other.In our second grade year books, we profess our love to one another and I have a rather attractive picture of us being in K4 together. We had a very physical relationship from the start. We only had intercourse twice. The second time, I got pregnant.

I was the good kid. I was an honor student, in the national honor society, beta club, show choir, church youth group-you name it. Once I found out I was pregnant, none of that mattered to anyone anymore. It was the outward expression of this act we had committed that clouded everyone's opinion of me. We weren't doing anything everyone else wasn't doing, we just got caught.


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What Was Best For Me

StandUpGirl sad girl rests head on hand

Hi Becky,  As the end of my senior year approached I felt different something had changed. Sure enough, a baby  was growing inside of me. I was 18 and found out I was pregnant 2 weeks after graduating.  I went to a clinic and I was 5 weeks pregnant. I was devastated.  I cried for hours.  I finally told my boyfriend and he was shocked as I was.   We talked about what we should do, "what was best for me", and how my parents would react. I had major plans for my future and a scholarship that I had to keep. I thought I was not going to be able to continue my dreams, that a baby will stop me, but most important I thought about what my dad would say and how he would react. So we concluded, I was getting an abortion, I was not sure if I wanted to go through with it, but I convinced myself that it was going to be the best for me and my baby.

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Leave It To A Guy To Blame The Girl

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Becky -- Before I was married, when I was much younger and much more liberal in my thinking and deeds,I was very pro-choice.I thought the whole idea of being pro-life was archaic thinking, that in a world already wrought with so much anguish and despair, why could I possibly want to bring another life into this bloody mess?

But I never had to make that "decision", it never actually came up.Until about 10 years ago.I ran into an old girlfriend from High school,and one thing led to another...Later,she told me she was pregnant,and that she was going to "take care of it". I acted indifferently; to be honest,I didn't believe her.She had (more or less) stalked me in the past, and she wasn't exactly all there...

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My Choice

StandUpGirl woman sits in bathroom

In August of 1999 i was raped.  He was a friend who was high and he raped me.  I live in a small southern town.  Being friends with him and his sister was already a problem.  You see, i am white, and he is black.  In the beginning of October I found out i was pregnant. 

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What To Do?

StandUpGirl sitting girl leans against wall

Hi Becky,
I am 24, just started a new job and am in a relationship with a guy that was my best friend....  I have a 5yr old son and he is Great, i had an abortion 3yrs ago with my ex because he didn’t want the baby. I just found out that i am about 2 weeks pregnant but i am not sure if i should have the baby because i am scared that what if my boy friend and I dont work out, i always wanted to have my next kids after marriage and our relationship is not a definate. I was happy when i found out i was pregnant but my mom told me that i am making a mistake to even consider keeping the babyI am afraid that my boss wont be impressed cause i have only been here 2 months. I have my first Doctors visit tomorrow and i am nervous because i don’t know what to do. Abort or keep…? Please Help

Regards, Helen

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Nice Enough, But...

StandUpGirl up close pregnancy test

I just turned 21 years old & I've been dating this guy for 3 months now.  I never really wanted to be with him so I don't know why I've stayed. He's a nice enough guy but I don't get the butterflies & I don't like having him around much or really like him touching me. Then yesterday I got up the nerve to buy 2 pregnancy tests which both turned out positive, I also haven't got my period this month. I'm stuck between abortion & keeping the baby. I always said I'd have an abortion but I don't know if I could handle it afterwards.

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I'm A Young Mom

StandUpGirl mother with baby boy on shoulder

Hi Becky,

I’m writing to day to hopefully inspire one girl, somewhere. I found out I was pregnant a little after i turned 17. I was a run away and heavily addicted to drugs. When i found out i cried for hours and when i told the father of my baby i was pregnant he said "take care of it" as in...get an abortion. I was mortified. That word in my head was not realistic, it sickened me to hear that from someone i cared so much about. I moved back home and stopped all drug use and started researching my options.

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I Hid My Pregnancy Well

StandUpGirl girl with phone stands against lockers

Dear Becky | Your website was a huge encouragement to me during my pregnancy. I wanted to share my story in hopes it will encourage another young woman in her journey of becoming a mother.

I was pretty much a typical 17 year old. I was a junior in high school. I played varsity soccer and basketball and was the captain of both teams. I was dating the senior captain of the football team. I was well liked by my peers and had a great home life. I was born and raised in a Christian family. I went to church every Sunday morning and Wednesday evening. I knew sex before marriage was wrong, I had been taught it my whole life. Needless to say, I didn’t listen.

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My Unplanned Pregnancy Decision

StandUpGirl woman laying on ground head in hands

My story begins as I was already a single mom stuggling to care for my 2 year old son.  On August 3rd, 2003, I non-chalantly took a pregnancy test, convinced at that time it would be negative.  I was wrong, 3 minutes and two lines on a stick later, I was floored to find out I  was yet again pregnant and I hadn't spoken to or even seen the guy I had been sleeping with.

I immediately knew that keeping the baby was not an option, for alot of reasons. I listened to one of my bet friends and she told me that she had gone through 4 abortions and the procedure was not painful and I would feel fine afterward. I asked her if she ever thought of those babies around what would have been their due dates, and she replied that she didn't even remember any of the due dates.

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Teenage Mothers

StandUpGirl girl stands with hands on head

I know that many of the teenage mothers out there are dealing with the thought of abortion and trying to figure out if they really want to give up their teenage years for a baby. I just want to share an encouraging word with them. I know that if I was strong enough to get through it all, then just about anyone can. There will be ups and downs of motherhood, but there are ups and downs in all of life, really.

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