Why does everyone have a goal to make me cry now? What did I do o diserve this hell? Today was the worst of it, JJ (baby daddy) had to bring up funerels and crap like that. It just broguht back the worst memories of the year. Then he said "what about you, have you lost anyone close to you this year?" Like he didn't already know! Kole (my step son through adoption/cusin) passed away due to a tragic accident, and all week I haven't cried until he had to bring up all that. Everybody was like, 'well at least your talking now' honestly I would rather him ignore me than bring Kole up ever again. I knpw tring to just forget about the whole thing is not the right aproach, but I can't help but to think it was all my fault. How does a tv fall on a two year old? How is a moher step or biological ever supposed live through this when I'm scared to think about my little girl, cause I might lose her too!

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