When things get good, why do they go wrong? Wednesday I started having pain, more pain then i've ever had, and i called my doctor, and she told me to relax and to come in Monday the 2nd at 8:30...
Thursday night/ Friday morning i collapsed, and my mom called an ambulance, and i was taken to urgent care... and i think my doctor was avoiding me because the U.C. doctor told me she'd be there, but Kaufman never came in until after 4!!!!! I was waiting on my OBGYN to come check on me for OVER TWELVE HOURS!! what the hell! i could have saved my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she didn't think i miscarried at first, because i wasn't bleeding.
then, she did my ultrasound.. you wanna talk about making a DR. sweat???? she KNEW my baby wasn't alive. IM NOT EFFING STUPID!!! she moved me and moved me and searched for the freaking heartbeat... and i lost it! i HATED my doctor. HATED HER. its like she wanted this to be unsuccessful! i followed everything like a good mommy, and i worked to make this pregnancy work!!! even with everything else, and my doctor had to say im sorry for your loss?????? she never let me have an ultrasound, she let me listen to the heartbeat ONCE but that was ONLY because William was there. I wanna die, its unfair that i lost another baby, i never meant for things to go wrong, ever. dr Kaufman says that low progesterone, low iron, and low white blood cells are to blame... && that, my blood work backs up... but, i don't understand why? i was doing EVERYTHING she asked me to...
but, i decided. I'm not going to try to have more babies... if i get pregnant again, I'll make sure to not get excited. because everything i get happy before it dies.

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