Almost a week ago i did the hardest thing possible. i terminated my pregnacy. i felt like i had no other choice. i did what i had to but it still hurts.

it started when i met this guy at a local gas station. i had seen him there a few times & we flirted back & forth untill he asked me for my number. we texted for a while, then we decided to hang out. I had recently lost the love of my life. he got into some bad things & landed himself in jail. so i was a little vulnerable. He had also gotten out of a serious relationship with a girl who's son he called "his".
well things got easy between us. we went out to movies, parties , mudholes. we had a good time together. then we were sitting in the back of his truck at the local mudhole, just watching the satrs & we had sex for the first time. stupidly with no protection.  we had done it a few more times before i found out i was PG. before i found out he told me he was going back to his ex & that we were basically over.  i was pretty upset but i thought it would get better, i was wrong.

Not even 2 weeks later i realized i had missed a period. i decided to wait a few more days untill i took a test.  when i did take the tes & i saw the pink lines i just froze. I didnt want to believe it. i was 1- & preggo by a guy who left me for someone else. what was i to do?

for i few days i ignored it, i just pretended it wasnt real & went on with life. then i realized i had to tell someone, it was eating away at me. i was slowly breaking. so i texted the father & said "we need to talk". he didnt reply for hours. then he said what do you need to talk about . then i told him i was pregnant & he was like "ok? and.."  i said & your the ******* father! he was like well idk what to tell you, this is crazy. so i told him i didnt know what i was going to do & i wanted him to have some kind of say. he said whatever i wanted to do.  so i said i would get back to him.

well my sister found out & told my mom. she was supportive & told me my options. ive always kinda been against abortion, but also pro-choice.  i just never thought it was for me. well one night i was at work & i got a call from john(the father) buh i rejected & sent a text stating i was working & couldnt answer. this was the reply "this is his babymom & i wanna know if your really pregnant or not. tell me whats going on nw" i was shocked by this & i didnt know what to say so i didnt reply right away. when i got home i texted back saying "this is between me & john & if you want to know whats going on ask him". she told me she didnt give a s*** if you are, but you better give it up.
i cried & thats when i knew id be alone in all this. so i talked with my mom, & i made the decsion to have an abortion. at the time i thought it was right. the babys father would be in & out of its life, & would be taking care of a child that wasnt his instead of his own. so i had to do it. i was young & felt alone. when i got the pills from the clinic i waited 2days to insert them. almost righ away i felt pain. maybe an hour later i began to bleed. i felt something come out of me & i went to the bathroom & on the pad i was wearing i saw my baby. it was very small & barley had any blood on it. i freaked! i began to scream & cry for my mom. she told me everything was ok & that i would be fine. the father never called or texted to see if i was ok, knowing that i was having the abortion & when. all this happend just a week ago & i feel so much regret & guilt. that was my baby & i just killed it. im not sure how life would be if i decided to keep it, but i know i will never forget what i saw & what ive done. i will always think of my baby & wonder what if.

thank you for listening to my story.

Comments (0)

There are no comments posted here yet

Need Help?

standupgirl contact becky

Search Real Stories

Share your story on StandUpGirl

Get 24 hour live support!
Optionline chat

StandUpGuy Story by Kyle

standupgirl app

Translate Our Page


StandUpGirl Login

Welcome to StandUpGirl