Hmm... where to start. Well, I'm not pregnant! :) I took a test and its official, I feel like i have a big weight lifted off of my shoulders. I didn't tell my mom about this scare, but I'll tell her someday when the time is right. Although I got strange looks from people at Target, it was well worth it and made a friend who works there, she's a single mom maybe about 18? She was super nice, she said just to ignore the people who are giving you the weird looks. I sticked around for a while so that when she got off break, she could talk to me a little bit about my decision if I was indeed pregnant. She said that keeping the baby is a tough job, but well worth it. But after telling her how old I was she said adoption would be my best option if I was pregnant. She was like my big sister I never had, she truly saved my life that day.

And then there's one other thing. Me and Bailey aren't seeing each other anymore. We actually broke up before I took the test, which wasn't a smart move because I would need him by my side if I was pregnant. I actually did the breaking up part, he was getting so serious, talking about settling down with me someday and having kids, and I'm not ready to be done looking for guys, I'm still only 14 and for all I know Bailey might not be the right one for me. And plus, our relationship was getting too sexual too fast, he wanted to do sexual activity whenever I came over and all I wanted to do was hang out with him and have a good time. Now, I didn't break up with him just because of those two things, I also didn't have any feelings left for him. Before we started seeing each other, I worked so hard to get him and then when I finally got him it was like 'Oh.. well, I finally have you and I don't have any feelings left for you now, wtf?' And he said well we can just take a break and I said, "Bailey, I'm sorry but I can't keep coming back to you, I need to move on and get rid of this security thing I have with you, I need to live life as a teenager and be thinking about settling down with you." And also, me and him have been off and on for a year and a half, and this year I'm going to a new school with new people, and if I meet someone I don't want to cheat. 

Well, I'm glad I have that weight lifted off my shoulders and can live life like a teenager now :) 

 

<3/Lexi

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